Why toddler bites?

It’s been bothering me for sometime this question because today we had a meeting with my sons pedagogue because of his persistent biting that’s been going on for almost a month now. He has one favorite victim, his 6 months younger cousin. Everyday the poor guy receives at least 3 bite-marks luckily he’s already vaccinated with anti tetanus.

Here’s some probable causes why he bites and why especially his cousin who happens to be our neighbor.

1. Communication – he cannot yet speak so instead he bites when they mean this is my toy do not play with it, leave me alone, a want that toy, I not glad today and so many things. Sometimes it will even mean the other way around that he’s so glad so bites.

2. Attention seeking – wants to get attention. After biting there’s always crying and suddenly an adult will come to break him away from his victim then his a star.

3. Frustrations – because he not yet express want he wanted which is understandably frustrating. Do you get what I mean.

4. Territorial – He started to a little bit too early in the day care actually he was the first baby they received so he’s kinda spoiled not just he’s their baby but he’s also sweet and charming. It was his nursery before but now he has to share the place and the adult attention to others but most especially to his loving cousin. There’s always new one coming in his day care where he started because they will only stay there for a maximum 2 Years and 1o months.

5. Language – He’s maybe confused to be in a multi language home like us. My husband and I speak Danglish (danish english) even the programmes we’re watching in the tv are in english. I tried to speak to him in Filipino language so my parents will understand him and my sister speaks also panggasinan dialect.

6. Jealousy – we think he so jealous of his little cousin well, who suddenly stole the light from him. The cousin became bigger and more and stronger than he actually so many he’s intimadated. His cousin also used to hit him with almost anything so maybe he’s irritated by this by the way my son is only 21 months old and his cousin is only 16 months old.

Those were the very obvious reasons why he bites because we don’t fight or shout at home and he’s very sweet and I did not have any problems with him ever since. But he needs to learn to learn to play with other kids.

He’s not not the only one who bites they said it’s very normal for toddler to go to this phase. But as a parent it’s frustrating when you always see he’s doing it over and over again. Or you meet one parent saying their daughter has my sons perfect teeth impression. Although they understand it makes me so sad.
The purpose of our meeting is not suspension I hope i will not go through this in the future is how we can help each other to guide him to more social and make him realize that he had some limitations that his not acceptable. That they are doing all what they are trained for in child behavior that we need to be in consistent at home so he will not be confused.

What should we do?

1. First when biting happens we should take him away and say No stop this it’s hurt and console the bitten one then show the bitemark and say aww aww it hurts do not do it again but try to refocus him in other thing or toy but if he’s still in the biting mode which sometimes hard to predict because sometimes it’s totally unprovocated I’m taking about his favorite cousin. Put him away in a chair or I do sometimes to just put his to his crib to cool off.

2. I realized before our meeting that maybe I should only talked to him in danish only because he’s beginning to talk and always asking question “what is that? ” almost every minute and I am really amazed how fast he learns new words every time and I can hear that he’s really focus on widening his vocabulary.

3. Try to be more involve like playing some activity games and can even invite his cousin and learn him that he has share and fun to play with someone.

4. Be quick to anticipate when he’s going to strike because you can not isolate him so he has be with others.

5. Try to teach him to show empathy or compassion to other for example show him when someone is crying that they are sad say instead shh don’t cry. I sometime ask him me with putting his lego in its box because I am tired of picking up after him and even acting like my back is aching come help me Aww my back help me then he helps me or helping putting the milk in cooler and so on ..

6. Don’t try to scold him when he bites just plain no and not raised or excited voice just normal but firm No. They say try to act right away but when it’s over don not try to remind him that what he’s bad or he did was wrong. In short don’t make a big thing out it so he will not feel that he affecting everybody. Try to be relax and calm.

7. Praise him when he do some good things. or proper things.

So I hope that he will soon get over this biting phase. I’m very thankful for the personnel who’s taking this matter very professional usually parents thinks of many things like me for example questions like where did I go wrong and my mother after having 5 childrens said maybe it his fathers genes which of course he’s from other end of the planet.