The Filipina Mom in Denmark

Today I’m going to participate in the celebration of World’s Kindness Day which is organized by Mari-Lynn Harris in Bloggers Unite.org by blogging about the kindness I received through the years.

For those who know me they often ask me why I do voluntary work by being active in my organization, the Babaylan Denmark – The Philippine Women’s Network which is part of the Europe Wide Network of Filipinas. We empowered women not by giving them financial help but by conducting Orientations especially for aupairs who are misused by their host families, or by the selfish au pair agencies/agents or by  being drowned by the cultural madness or cultural shock in their host country. Most of the times we or I through the sites I authored get  queries almost about everything regarding Filipinas in trouble. I devote 30 % of my time to voluntary work which I’m glad my husband understand and support.

But you can not please everyone not even your own countrymen because we are always criticized which sometimes my relatives and friends always ask why I do it when I don’t earn anything from it. Our chairperson J.J. was  once questioned what are her motives in helping girls in troubles and how many people she know in our community and she was really hurt. This was an incident where we help a Filipina who we help when she filed a complain against her agent’s husband who allegedly tried to raped her but we did not forced her we just accompanied and supported her.  But I told her Quantity doesn’t matter but the QUALITY and the INTENTION to help is important. We really get a lot of criticisms with regard to women’s standing up and fighting for their rights and we stand up to principles no matter what kind of social status aupairs, house helps, mail order bride, expats etc. these womens are we still help them and I’m glad to be part of these strong Filipinas.

Personally I experienced kindness a lot of times in my lifetime so I want to pass it on to others who needs it. In my  voluntary work you meet a lot of people who needed help in any way but what I always tell them I don’t expect anything in return because most of the time they forget about it when they attained their goals but they should give it back or pass it on by showing kindness to others who might need it.

I think 1993 is the year that I can’t forget when our apartment was burned down by fire in Manila and we don’t have any  clothes to wear and a place to stay my neighbor let us stay in their apartment while  the other neighbors they gave us clothes. Another one who is a member of religious mission conducted fund raising and gave a enough amount of money to buy necessary appliances we that needed. My employee at that time gave me 10,000 Philippine pesos. These are kindness we received without asking for it. So we did not bother to ask our   relatives for help anymore and they don’t know how serious it was losing your home although it was only a rented apartment but the things we owned, the first appliances I bought and  the most important of all the  memories which includes our pictures and memorabilia were  gone.

When I met my husband the year of 2002 and decided to marry him, Denmark at that was time  was about to imposed a new law for family reunification, a stricter than the present one so we encountered a lot of problem with my staying permit. Then a man from Marriage without border (a Union for Danish married with a foreigner) told us where we can marry with very short waiting period and later he also was present in our wedding and be there to support us. Marriage or any wedding at all should be a beginning of a happy union but  it wasn’t for us, doubts, nervousness was overwhelming because what if they will send me out from the country, what will happen to us? is the question that popped on our head that time. Then all of a sudden a man a lawyer called Wilkins who was also married to a foreigner helped us to sign the application form and I tell you it was thick and with all kind of weird questions. He then photocopied my passport and he himself went to the Immigration Office and submitted it while we waited for him at the Central station with my passport for 4 hours and went straight to Malmö City in Sweden (only 30 mins train ride from CPH) and met the Mayor who welcomed us and told us that in Malmo they welcomes EU/Scandinavian Citizen with foreign partners to live there. So we were relieved to hear that we have a back up plan if ever I can’t get the approval from the Danish immigration but I did so here I am blogging about my life in Denmark. And that man Wilkins did not ask us for any fees but just imagine arguing and waiting for 4 hours out there in the immigration office, he was an angel sent down from heavens.

There’s still a lot that I can’t remember everything but I belive that if you give something good you get back in any other way. The law of karma. So whenever I help by just giving advice, offering our home, giving a decent meal, taking time to accompany to the hospital, in the social service, in the free legal assistance office, to the police, or just an instrument by finding ways where they can get are my way of giving back all the kindness I received from people I didn’t know and who did not ask something in return.

So I can say that kindness can make an impact to an individual. In this time of financial crisis and the recent floodings brought by the typhoons in the Philippines, kindness still prevails in the hearts of mankind no matter what the nationalities but their desire to help is there.

Thank you for the people who showed kindness to me and my family I will pass it on to my child and the people whom I meet. In my biology class I can remember that we are homo sapiens a higher level of animals but I can say that kindness is what separate us from the other animal species because we have a heart that knows no boundaries.

Happy KINDness day.

Today we celebrate the International Women’s Day and I thank all our fore Mothers in their effort to fight for women’s right which was unheard of more than 100 years ago.

In Copenhagen we celebrated 100 years of women’s right to vote in the local elections and it was celebrated for almost a year. I joined the celebration together with the Babaylan Denmark in the Copenhagen City Square but unfortunately I haven’t took any pictures since I cooked some food and sold it later . I prepared calderita ( a little bit spicy beef dish) and pancit canton (egg noodles with vegetables and my friend prepared lumpia (spring rolls and leche plan) and it was a big hit everythin was sold out while people watched the program and the open concert featuring the likes of Anne Linnet, Sanne Salomonsen and other famous danish women singers.
This year’s theme is Women and Men united to end violence against women and girls. The Women’s Council of Denmark is spearheading the demonstration in the Copenhagen City Hall Square against total ban of prostitution and afterwards there are severals debate and workshop about the topic.
According to the Women’s council there is an increade of 40% of prostitutes in Denmark in contrast to Norway and Sweden who impost ban on the sex trade. I’m support the ban because it I once had a friend who’s friend was a victim of human trafficking and was sold by her own sister who also in the same trade. It was horrifying just to hear the story and with the au pair problems we have here and the other part of worlds there were rumors that some au pairs are doing it. I don’t know it is true but it is still a big problem for the Philippine Government because of the au pair ban. They should tackle this problem since au pairs are also nameless OFW who sends money to families but when something happens to them then nobody can help them.

learn about human traficking in this link http://www.humantrafficking.org/countries/philippines

In Denmark International Women’s Day is still called International Women’s Fight Dag (or according to Google translate it is Struggle) as it was in the start of the movement. Women in old times just like in any other countries don’t have any right to vote, to study and so on. But in 1910 in Copenhagen there was a International Conference of Working Women who agreed to celebrate a common day of Women’s Day all over the world to make a big impact of the women’s issue if it done globally. The 100 participants in 17 countries unanimously agreed and thus the present celebration started in 1911.
The Philippines theme is Babae, Yaman ka ng Bayan (Woman, Your are the treasure of the country). This recognizes women’s part in nation building which is so relevant in this time of financial crisis. Filipinas comprises the big bulk of migrant workers in Europe there are nurses, doctors, caregivers, domestic helpers, and other professions. How about the womens or wives of Filipino Overseas workers who are left behind to take care of the children and manage the income sent by their husband. These are the Filipinas are important resource to help to improve the reduction of poverty by creating a various activities like entrepreneurial summit for Women. In this times of financial needs we all need to learn how to help our spouses to cope with the crisis and in a way contributes to the country’s economy.

Know more about the Filipina Womens Role in the website of National Commision on Th e Role of Filipina Women

Read my post here about gender gap

Filipina women ahead of the danish women in closing gap on Gender equality

Today women can vote, study and become CEOs but the fight is not over. Here in the Denmark where we have a Ministry of Equality there is still inequalities in the rate of salaries when you’re a woman and a few women In top office. Why because when you’re a woman you give birth which means longer maternal leave. Maybe we have PMS so sometimes we have humor changes.

But these are all minor problems when it comes to the third world countries like violence of women, high maternal mortality rate because they on’t ge the right medical supervision under pregnancy, and still a lot mention.

So I think celebrating the International Women’s Day is still relevant so the world will know that women are still not considered equal to men in many countries. And the women who achieved freedom continue to fight for others who are not allowed or who don’t know that they have the same rights as men.

Well, Anyway Happy International Women’s Day!