Tag-Archive for » loss of a father «

30
Jul
Thanks for the condolences
filipinamom

Now I’m back on line and in Denmark after almost a month from Spain, finally I can now write about the death of my father. For those who visited this site and leave their sincere condolences and their prayers, thank you and I  appreciate your thoughtfulness and to my relatives, friends and acquintances who were presents during the Requiem Mass for my father which was officiated by Rev. Fr. Joe Toms C.s.s.R, the priest for the Filipinos in Copenhagen.   Thank you for sharing our family’s grief and for offering prayers for my father’s soul.

 His death took us by surprised because he almost recovered from his first operation and we  chatted on the net 1 month before he died. He even cut my mother’s hair which means that everything was what it was supposed to be, but what supposed to be just a simple operation went wrong which my mother became really sad. They just celebrated their 40 years wedding anniversary 5 days  before he died. I haven’t seen him for 5 months and even during his burial or cremation I wasn’t able to attend instead I arranged a requiem mass for him and  I’m really grateful to Filipino community in Denmark they are always ready to offer prayers and contributions even though they don’t know my father personally.

padasl4 copypadasl3padasal2 copybouquet1 copy

The Filipino  Tradition of “Pakikiramay”  condolence. The Requiem mass, Group Pictures and food. It just show we’re really compassionate and happy people and not to forget we love  food and group pictures even in time of mourning.

Filipinos in Denmark did not lost their Filipino traditions of compassion or ” pakikiramay “. They attend the the 9 days prayer or “padasal” ( in the Catholic tradition  they hold 9 days of prayer or “novena”and another mass in the 4oth day  and of course after the praying there is food and people talk about what they can remember of the deceased usually funny and good things he/she had done.

Being a migrant it is hard to experience death of a loved one, our family is scattered around the globe  and my father’s sisters and brothers are living in the Philippines so we have to accept the harsh reality of life not being there to cry together and hold wake . It was funny though I spoke to my brother who was in the Philippines at that time and I cried and chat with my relatives, my father’s aunts, brother, and sister on the  net and watch each other’s grief on the webcamera.

My father always wanted to go back to the Philippines his motherland so we decided that his remains be cremated which happened on his 2nd day (it was supposed to be the 1st day) then one day maybe next year all of us can go give him  a proper burial to be buried together with his parent’s grave. Dying in Spain is not that cheap my family has to shield 3000+ Euros just for the cremation. My mother chose to keep the jar of his remains at their flat until we will take him back to the Philippines. I did not expect that I will ask “abuloy” or contributions instead of flowers here in Denmark because I did helped 2 aupairs who died 2 years ago and asked for donations. Filipinos gave financial helped and even asked what they can do to helped . We sincerely thank  tita Luth Abainza, her family and the rest of PUGAD , & Babaylan Denmark,  Babaylan Europe for the prayers, Josie of Amager Bloomster for the boquet,St. Anne’s prayer group who prayed in the 9th day, Lemy and the rest of Copenhgen Community Church, Fr. Joe Toms, Fr. Benny and all family  friends, my classmates.

Since I started blogging about my fathers head  tumor removal operation 7 months ago and his almost succesful recovery, a lot  blogger friends offered comforting words and prayers and I’m glad I was vocal about my grief even in my facebook , friendster and talk about to friends and I’m glad I did it although it is so personal but it helps to ease the pain of losing a loved one and somehow I felt I’m not alone in my grief. Thank you!!!

 I found this quotation  in the net (sadly missed.com) which reflects what I feel. Thank you my loving Tatay for everything. We miss you and we love you. We will cherish all the sacrifices and the memories you left behind.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steals”. From a tombstone in Ireland

 Tataypadasal

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Category: Filipino Community  Tags: , , , ,  2 Comments
16
Jun
The Last Holding Hands
filipinamom

Tuesday morning last week after arriving from my Paris trip my husband woke me up saying that my sister called sobbing and told him that my father died and I just started to cry. I tried to post about it but until now I can’t so I just start with what I had written that day.

I just received the sad news today that my father died in the hospital bed. I can’t believe it because most of my loyal readers and friends knows that he was operated last January to remove a tumor in his brain. We visited him and he was slowly but surely was on his way to fully recover. When we visited him last February after his first operation I can vividly he tried to talk and walk although he was struggling but he tried to show us that he can walk. We were so happy when Magnus, my 3 year old son tried to help him walk using the stroller whatever you call it. We also enjoyed moments when we ate and he always asked me to share my potato chips.

My brother Jess had described his last visit and posted it in his Friendster’s bulletin. He still too saddened by our lost he can fell my father around him in his room where my parent used to stay and in our flat where he ashes lies. He had a special bond because the blood that runs in his veins is my father’s literally because he almost died when he was a baby and only my father’s blood type that matched. I wasn’t there which hurts me so much.


Last monday June 8,2009 I was holding my father´s hand as he slowly taking his last moment,last breath of his life. He was lying in bed seriously ill. I kept talking to him about our family, our relatives and friends, our past and our future. Hoping he can still listen to every words I´m saying. Sometimes he showed a little hope of life by breathing heavily and moving his lips and his eye lids. I kept holding his hand firmly to make him feel how we love him dearly. I can still feel the warmth of his body giving me hope that he can make it still and recover soon. I said my goodbyes to him and left the hospital with little hope that he will still be alright.

I went back to work that day and still keep praying and hoping that my father will be ok. As I finished my work and head to my room suddenly a certain sadness struck me and I keep crying knowing that my father will be gone soon. I only stop when I have fallen asleep. About 3 o´clock early in the morning of June 9, 2009 I was awake already like when how my father used to wake me up. Then the phone started ringing, first ring I didn´t want to answer it, second ring I´m afraid already it will be the saddest news of my life. Third ring I decided to answer it to accept the reality. Then the lady said if the family of Estanislao P. Navarro could come to the hospital. I didn´t ask any more question but self denying the reality. I called my mother to tell them about the call. I prepared myself and went to face the reality. As I slowly walk getting near the hospital my knees were trembling. I saw my mother and my sisters. We talked with the doctor and told us about the death of my father. By then we were already crying. I hugged my mother and sisters and comforted each other. Then we went in to see the lifeless body of my father, covered with white cloth. We opened it exposing the his face and I looked for his hand and hold it, praying to God that his soul will rest in peace and he will go to heaven.

June 9, 2009 about 9 o´clock in the morning was the last hold of my father´s hand.

My father was born November 4, 1940 and died June 9, 2009. He was a good man to his friends and relatives, a great father to his children giving us the love and care we needed even if we were not together most of our lives and a best husband to my mother always by her side.

As we start to move on and face reality, we will always have my father´s memory in our hearts and in our minds forever in our lives.
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Category: Personal  Tags: ,  12 Comments