The Filipina Mom in Denmark

When you ask a Filipino to describe their father they will say strict, provider, distant, doing less housework, doing all the repairs in the house and many more. But this is not a negative description of the Filipino fathers because it is deeply rooted in our culture that the father is the provider meaning the breadwinner of the family seeing to it that he provide a decent house and food in the table. The management of the home is left to the mother which includes budgeting and family affairs and upbringing. But the father is considered the head so all decisions still needs the father’s approval.

Father's love

It is the same here in Denmark many years ago when the men are the working while the women are the one who stayed home and doing the housework. Now the men wanted more equality in the family life. They became more visible, they change diapers, do housework, take the children to the park or just push strollers, attend PTA (Parents Teachers Asso.) meetings and alot more. Just a few years or a year ago I don’t remember exactly the law recognized the important of father figure in the life of a child that is the parents have equal right when they separate and file for divorce it’s not automatic that the mother will get full custody and the father just have to pay the alimony but it will be shared by both parents.

My father is typical Pinoy Father he is so authoritative we were afraid to break his rules like just hearing his pssssst then we will rush home (that was because he forbids us to join or even watch the barn dance you know sayawan but today it will be like a disco or party where the girls just sits and wait for the boys who will dance with them you get the point why it was forbidden). It was so typical in the old times to spank your children when they get naughty and I tell you I experienced quiet a lot. But he never slapped our face or hit any parts of the body but our bottoms which sometimes we put some cloth so as not to feel the pain. Many will not understand this but that was the way they discipline children in old time but it will stop when you reach puberty age there is another way like house arrest or other ways. I not hitting or spanking my son but for sure I always think twice when I was young I have to do against the will of my father and even now when I have to do something I always think if it according to the teachings of my father.

Mano po

Source: downloaded from www.deviant art.com

When I was young I seldom see my father kiss or hug us but he showed in many ways how he took care of especially when my mother left us to work abroad he was both our mather and father and thats a tough job. How he provided us with a roof over our head and food in the table and took care of us is enoug to know how much he loves us. When we take his hand in our forehead or Mano po and lovingly he answers back that’s love. Mano po is a Filipino tradition of giving respect to older persons especially parents usually when you see them in the evening you say Good Evening Father and take the right hand and put it in you head you also do that when you arrive home. But his answer is already a sign of love he answer back Good evening also and may God bless you anak.

My father teachings:

• Respect your elders
• eat only what you can just think about those children who don’t have anything to eat
• Study hard
• he hates young people who flirts at a very young age so we have to focus on our friends and studying (luckily there was no internet and cellphone at that time)
• Although he doesn’t regularly go to church it’s my mother who is so religious he still encourage us to go to church on Sundays.
• be kind and helpful to the needy.
• don’t lie or steal
• an there’s a lot more

Life is not perfect I brought joy and honor to my parents but one time in my life I also brought tears to them when I made a bad decision and I know I broke my father’s teaching but I’m just human who is capable to make some mistakes. The other relatives maybe were talking behind my back condemning me but not my father. He did not say anything but I knew then its like a code in the family that he did not approved it. Same with my other siblings we did not heard any harsh word which made us realize that we have to choice what is right. Later on all those trials made us so strong and see things in more brighter way.

When he live in Spain he became more understanding maybe he see the way the young ones lives in the west but still he wants us not to be westernized in our way of living. Instead of mano, we still do it sometimes but we kiss ecah other checks like beso beso. But we also talk alot before maybe I got this talent from him about my interest in Social Studies and current events and I can you that we can talk for hours. He loves to hear the news and The Desperate Housewives (wow I don’t follow it). But I wanted him to know that he may not be the perfect Father in the world but for me and my siblings he is the best father and TATAY WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

I wrote this post because I’m on my way to join and visit him again in Madrid hospital where he just underwent a head surgery where they removed a big tumor he is stable but suddenly when they move him from the ICU to his room he became weak and doesn’t say so much. So I decided to take my son and visit him. Upon hearing that we will come he tried his best to stand up and I hope that he will soon be back to his old self.

I also applaud another father who is there to support his wife and daughter who are in the hospital because of dengue fever. I read his blog regarding family matters. I will make a small donation thru my cousin in the Philippines . You can not believe the power of Bayanihan spirit among the the Filipino Blogger who give donations and supported other bloggers call to help Angel Father Blogger

Angel Cuala aka Father Blogger

Please go to the Mel of Filipino Bloggers Unite site who requested me to repost regarding the details of this call But I was so busy and stressed these past few days and I thought it was late na but the father blogger still accepts assistance just visit his site where you can contact to give assistance an support at www.blogcomplaint.blogspot.com

The Filipino father will do whatever he can do protect and provide for his family they may be as showy as we wanted to be but they will show their love and commitment when the safety and health of their family is threatened.

My prayers for the full recovery of your wife and daughter Father Blogger.

I also ask you to join me and say a prayer for my Father’s fast recovery and hope that the tumor is not malignant.