The Filipina Mom in Denmark

Now I’m back on line and in Denmark after almost a month from Spain, finally I can now write about the death of my father. For those who visited this site and leave their sincere condolences and their prayers, thank you and I  appreciate your thoughtfulness and to my relatives, friends and acquintances who were presents during the Requiem Mass for my father which was officiated by Rev. Fr. Joe Toms C.s.s.R, the priest for the Filipinos in Copenhagen.   Thank you for sharing our family’s grief and for offering prayers for my father’s soul.

 His death took us by surprised because he almost recovered from his first operation and we  chatted on the net 1 month before he died. He even cut my mother’s hair which means that everything was what it was supposed to be, but what supposed to be just a simple operation went wrong which my mother became really sad. They just celebrated their 40 years wedding anniversary 5 days  before he died. I haven’t seen him for 5 months and even during his burial or cremation I wasn’t able to attend instead I arranged a requiem mass for him and  I’m really grateful to Filipino community in Denmark they are always ready to offer prayers and contributions even though they don’t know my father personally.

The Filipino  Tradition of “Pakikiramay”  condolence. The Requiem mass, Group Pictures and food. It just show we’re really compassionate and happy people and not to forget we love  food and group pictures even in time of mourning.

Filipinos in Denmark did not lost their Filipino traditions of compassion or ” pakikiramay “. They attend the the 9 days prayer or “padasal” ( in the Catholic tradition  they hold 9 days of prayer or “novena”and another mass in the 4oth day  and of course after the praying there is food and people talk about what they can remember of the deceased usually funny and good things he/she had done.

Being a migrant it is hard to experience death of a loved one, our family is scattered around the globe  and my father’s sisters and brothers are living in the Philippines so we have to accept the harsh reality of life not being there to cry together and hold wake . It was funny though I spoke to my brother who was in the Philippines at that time and I cried and chat with my relatives, my father’s aunts, brother, and sister on the  net and watch each other’s grief on the webcamera.

My father always wanted to go back to the Philippines his motherland so we decided that his remains be cremated which happened on his 2nd day (it was supposed to be the 1st day) then one day maybe next year all of us can go give him  a proper burial to be buried together with his parent’s grave. Dying in Spain is not that cheap my family has to shield 3000+ Euros just for the cremation. My mother chose to keep the jar of his remains at their flat until we will take him back to the Philippines. I did not expect that I will ask “abuloy” or contributions instead of flowers here in Denmark because I did helped 2 aupairs who died 2 years ago and asked for donations. Filipinos gave financial helped and even asked what they can do to helped . We sincerely thank  tita Luth Abainza, her family and the rest of PUGAD , & Babaylan Denmark,  Babaylan Europe for the prayers, Josie of Amager Bloomster for the boquet,St. Anne’s prayer group who prayed in the 9th day, Lemy and the rest of Copenhgen Community Church, Fr. Joe Toms, Fr. Benny and all family  friends, my classmates.

Since I started blogging about my fathers head  tumor removal operation 7 months ago and his almost succesful recovery, a lot  blogger friends offered comforting words and prayers and I’m glad I was vocal about my grief even in my facebook , friendster and talk about to friends and I’m glad I did it although it is so personal but it helps to ease the pain of losing a loved one and somehow I felt I’m not alone in my grief. Thank you!!!

 I found this quotation  in the net (sadly missed.com) which reflects what I feel. Thank you my loving Tatay for everything. We miss you and we love you. We will cherish all the sacrifices and the memories you left behind.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steals”. From a tombstone in Ireland