The Filipina Mom in Denmark

Youth Vårsalong is Denmark’s largest art exhibition for young people. The Copenhagen City is agin hosting the exhibit and this year’s theme is titled “What I dream about”. Well, it’s interesting to see the young artist visualize their dream into various art expression modes like photographs, films, sculptures, and many many more.

Come and see the dreams of the young artists whose 220 art works were selected by a professional panel of judges among the hundreds of submitted works. The art exhibit will be opened by the Child and Youth Mayor Anne Vang.

We, are proud to announce that the Babaylan Denmark’s illustrator and cartoonist is chosen for two consecutive years to be part of this big exhibit form April 29 to 8th of May 2010 in Copenhagen City Hall and subseqently in the city hall of City Hall of Malmø in Sweden

Prior to the exhibition, a private viewing on Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 17.00-19.00 hr will be held for the artists together with their parents, families and friends.

Among the 200 young artists from around, Copenhagen, Århus, Odense, Esbjerg, Aalborg & Malmø, Muir was lucky to get her chance again to participate in the yearly exhibition.

The artist impression of herself

Muir Jover is the daughter of the current Babaylan Denmark’s Chairperson, Juvy Jover.

For more information, please visit http://www.ungdomsskolen.kk.dk

Today I’m going to participate in the celebration of World’s Kindness Day which is organized by Mari-Lynn Harris in Bloggers Unite.org by blogging about the kindness I received through the years.

For those who know me they often ask me why I do voluntary work by being active in my organization, the Babaylan Denmark – The Philippine Women’s Network which is part of the Europe Wide Network of Filipinas. We empowered women not by giving them financial help but by conducting Orientations especially for aupairs who are misused by their host families, or by the selfish au pair agencies/agents or by  being drowned by the cultural madness or cultural shock in their host country. Most of the times we or I through the sites I authored get  queries almost about everything regarding Filipinas in trouble. I devote 30 % of my time to voluntary work which I’m glad my husband understand and support.

But you can not please everyone not even your own countrymen because we are always criticized which sometimes my relatives and friends always ask why I do it when I don’t earn anything from it. Our chairperson J.J. was  once questioned what are her motives in helping girls in troubles and how many people she know in our community and she was really hurt. This was an incident where we help a Filipina who we help when she filed a complain against her agent’s husband who allegedly tried to raped her but we did not forced her we just accompanied and supported her.  But I told her Quantity doesn’t matter but the QUALITY and the INTENTION to help is important. We really get a lot of criticisms with regard to women’s standing up and fighting for their rights and we stand up to principles no matter what kind of social status aupairs, house helps, mail order bride, expats etc. these womens are we still help them and I’m glad to be part of these strong Filipinas.

Personally I experienced kindness a lot of times in my lifetime so I want to pass it on to others who needs it. In my  voluntary work you meet a lot of people who needed help in any way but what I always tell them I don’t expect anything in return because most of the time they forget about it when they attained their goals but they should give it back or pass it on by showing kindness to others who might need it.

I think 1993 is the year that I can’t forget when our apartment was burned down by fire in Manila and we don’t have any  clothes to wear and a place to stay my neighbor let us stay in their apartment while  the other neighbors they gave us clothes. Another one who is a member of religious mission conducted fund raising and gave a enough amount of money to buy necessary appliances we that needed. My employee at that time gave me 10,000 Philippine pesos. These are kindness we received without asking for it. So we did not bother to ask our   relatives for help anymore and they don’t know how serious it was losing your home although it was only a rented apartment but the things we owned, the first appliances I bought and  the most important of all the  memories which includes our pictures and memorabilia were  gone.

When I met my husband the year of 2002 and decided to marry him, Denmark at that was time  was about to imposed a new law for family reunification, a stricter than the present one so we encountered a lot of problem with my staying permit. Then a man from Marriage without border (a Union for Danish married with a foreigner) told us where we can marry with very short waiting period and later he also was present in our wedding and be there to support us. Marriage or any wedding at all should be a beginning of a happy union but  it wasn’t for us, doubts, nervousness was overwhelming because what if they will send me out from the country, what will happen to us? is the question that popped on our head that time. Then all of a sudden a man a lawyer called Wilkins who was also married to a foreigner helped us to sign the application form and I tell you it was thick and with all kind of weird questions. He then photocopied my passport and he himself went to the Immigration Office and submitted it while we waited for him at the Central station with my passport for 4 hours and went straight to Malmö City in Sweden (only 30 mins train ride from CPH) and met the Mayor who welcomed us and told us that in Malmo they welcomes EU/Scandinavian Citizen with foreign partners to live there. So we were relieved to hear that we have a back up plan if ever I can’t get the approval from the Danish immigration but I did so here I am blogging about my life in Denmark. And that man Wilkins did not ask us for any fees but just imagine arguing and waiting for 4 hours out there in the immigration office, he was an angel sent down from heavens.

There’s still a lot that I can’t remember everything but I belive that if you give something good you get back in any other way. The law of karma. So whenever I help by just giving advice, offering our home, giving a decent meal, taking time to accompany to the hospital, in the social service, in the free legal assistance office, to the police, or just an instrument by finding ways where they can get are my way of giving back all the kindness I received from people I didn’t know and who did not ask something in return.

So I can say that kindness can make an impact to an individual. In this time of financial crisis and the recent floodings brought by the typhoons in the Philippines, kindness still prevails in the hearts of mankind no matter what the nationalities but their desire to help is there.

Thank you for the people who showed kindness to me and my family I will pass it on to my child and the people whom I meet. In my biology class I can remember that we are homo sapiens a higher level of animals but I can say that kindness is what separate us from the other animal species because we have a heart that knows no boundaries.

Happy KINDness day.

Did you experienced that somebody called you a bitch because you speak what’s in your mind? In the Philippines where girls are brought up to be nice and sweet and answering your elders or your superior are regarded as a No No or they will call you a blacksheep or a worst a bitch. I don’t mean that we have to be rude and forget about our upbringing but living in a different culture where people can be frank and straight in dealing with each other like the Danes can be create emotional turmoil especially for new comers like the aupairs. We have to understand their culture in order to live harmoniously. But saying No and expressing your disagreement to the norms doesn’t make you a bitch in a negative way and don’t be discourage if you are branded or called a bitch.

Because according to The Bitch Manifesto you have to proud to be called bitch because Bitch is beautiful . Just to give you an idea what are the personality traits of a bitch here’s an except from the manifesto:

Personality of a bitch: Bitches are aggressive, assertive, domineering, overbearing, strong-minded, spiteful, hostile, direct, blunt, candid, obnoxious, thick-skinned, hard-headed, vicious, dogmatic, competent, competitive, pushy, loud-mouthed, independent, stubborn, demanding, manipulative, egoistic, driven, achieving, overwhelming, threatening, scary, ambitious, tough, brassy, masculine, boisterous, and turbulent. Among other things. A Bitch occupies a lot of psychological space. You always know she is around. A Bitch takes shit from no one. You may not like her, but you cannot ignore her

You can visit http://www.jofreeman.com/joreen/bitch.htm for more details about the bitch manifesto and the works of Jo Freeman a feminist activist and author.

Photos source: www.khmerfuture.com

I got this email from Filomenita but instead of forwarding to my friends I will post it here so that it will somehow lift the spirits of women who are branded as bitch. You can tag it if you think you’re a bitch and just link it back to me. This blog is dedicated to Judy, Nitnit and the rest of Babaylan Denmark who are branded as “Pakialamera ng Bayan” or something like the city’s impertinent/intrusive. I feel sorry for the Babaylan Jylland who are just started but right now experiencing the jagged claws of the crab and law of the small town of Jante, keep it up and we are here to support you. And not to forget the rest of Babaylan Europe . Fighting for women’s issue isn’t always easy as you’re not only intimidate men but as well as women who still belongs to the old definition of women who can’t say what they think in front of other person but bravely speaks ill of that person when they are not around. I’m proud to be a Babaylan and if you call us BITCH, thank you because we are PROUD of it.

And here is the email:

AND THEN WHAT!!!!????

Be GLAD YOU ARE ONE………..

Don’t REGRET ANYTHING……..

It takes GRIT to be a B…..

Enjoy every BIT of IT

B of ITCH

The last line takes the cake!

BITCHOLOGY When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won’t compromise what’s in my heart.

It means I live my life MY way.

It means I won’t allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone’s maid, or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won’t become anyone else’s idea of what they think I ’should’ be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.

I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, just try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.

You won’t succeed. And if that makes me a bitch ,so be it.

I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B – Babe

I – In

T – Total

C – Control of

H – Herself

B = Beautiful

I = Intelligent

T = Talented

C = Charming

H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful

I = Individual

T = That

C = Can

H = Handle ‘anything’

Send this to women to put a smile on their face!! ‘If you can’t do something right, get a woman to do it.

Are you a BITCH?

Today is the Blog Reader Appreciation Day!!!

I thank you all my visitors and readers. I really appreciate your comments and visits it inspires me and somehow feel I exist in this world. No one can beat the happiness and excitement when you see who visiting especially blogger friends who always stops by post comments.

To those new here I’m a Filipina who happened to found my soul mate and my true love here in the North far away from my motherland, the Philippines. I love my life here and almost fully integrated to the new culture but I still long for my own culture and heritage . I miss my family, friends, my colleagues, my clients, my workers, my books, my mango trees, my coconut trees, my music, jeepneys, the people, and many things. When I was new here they ask me what is our culture then I started to think of the things I took for granted when I was still in the Philippines now I am proud to share to the world what I am and where I came from and will not be forgotten because I will pass it on  to my son.

That’s why, I thank you my dear readers through my blog I can share and get to know other bloggers, their thoughts, advocacies, their problems, their families, their cities and their cultures and somehow quench my thirst about news and events in my motherland and around the world. It’s also became an instrument to spread the advocacies like this Blog Reader Appreciation Day.Through your visits and comments my dear readers I slowly finding my self again, my self confidence and be appreciated .

Thank you Rolly for posting a comment and for appreciating me and for that I put your link on the Save the monumento badge in my side bar which I overlooked.

I also thank Robin Reagler for creating this event in Bloggers unite. You can visit by clicking the link there there are bloggers who gives free E- BOOKS and other goodies I downloaded from veryheaven .

Today we celebrate the International Women’s Day and I thank all our fore Mothers in their effort to fight for women’s right which was unheard of more than 100 years ago.

In Copenhagen we celebrated 100 years of women’s right to vote in the local elections and it was celebrated for almost a year. I joined the celebration together with the Babaylan Denmark in the Copenhagen City Square but unfortunately I haven’t took any pictures since I cooked some food and sold it later . I prepared calderita ( a little bit spicy beef dish) and pancit canton (egg noodles with vegetables and my friend prepared lumpia (spring rolls and leche plan) and it was a big hit everythin was sold out while people watched the program and the open concert featuring the likes of Anne Linnet, Sanne Salomonsen and other famous danish women singers.
This year’s theme is Women and Men united to end violence against women and girls. The Women’s Council of Denmark is spearheading the demonstration in the Copenhagen City Hall Square against total ban of prostitution and afterwards there are severals debate and workshop about the topic.
According to the Women’s council there is an increade of 40% of prostitutes in Denmark in contrast to Norway and Sweden who impost ban on the sex trade. I’m support the ban because it I once had a friend who’s friend was a victim of human trafficking and was sold by her own sister who also in the same trade. It was horrifying just to hear the story and with the au pair problems we have here and the other part of worlds there were rumors that some au pairs are doing it. I don’t know it is true but it is still a big problem for the Philippine Government because of the au pair ban. They should tackle this problem since au pairs are also nameless OFW who sends money to families but when something happens to them then nobody can help them.

learn about human traficking in this link http://www.humantrafficking.org/countries/philippines

In Denmark International Women’s Day is still called International Women’s Fight Dag (or according to Google translate it is Struggle) as it was in the start of the movement. Women in old times just like in any other countries don’t have any right to vote, to study and so on. But in 1910 in Copenhagen there was a International Conference of Working Women who agreed to celebrate a common day of Women’s Day all over the world to make a big impact of the women’s issue if it done globally. The 100 participants in 17 countries unanimously agreed and thus the present celebration started in 1911.
The Philippines theme is Babae, Yaman ka ng Bayan (Woman, Your are the treasure of the country). This recognizes women’s part in nation building which is so relevant in this time of financial crisis. Filipinas comprises the big bulk of migrant workers in Europe there are nurses, doctors, caregivers, domestic helpers, and other professions. How about the womens or wives of Filipino Overseas workers who are left behind to take care of the children and manage the income sent by their husband. These are the Filipinas are important resource to help to improve the reduction of poverty by creating a various activities like entrepreneurial summit for Women. In this times of financial needs we all need to learn how to help our spouses to cope with the crisis and in a way contributes to the country’s economy.

Know more about the Filipina Womens Role in the website of National Commision on Th e Role of Filipina Women

Read my post here about gender gap

Filipina women ahead of the danish women in closing gap on Gender equality

Today women can vote, study and become CEOs but the fight is not over. Here in the Denmark where we have a Ministry of Equality there is still inequalities in the rate of salaries when you’re a woman and a few women In top office. Why because when you’re a woman you give birth which means longer maternal leave. Maybe we have PMS so sometimes we have humor changes.

But these are all minor problems when it comes to the third world countries like violence of women, high maternal mortality rate because they on’t ge the right medical supervision under pregnancy, and still a lot mention.

So I think celebrating the International Women’s Day is still relevant so the world will know that women are still not considered equal to men in many countries. And the women who achieved freedom continue to fight for others who are not allowed or who don’t know that they have the same rights as men.

Well, Anyway Happy International Women’s Day!

The Filipinas are among the Top 10 way above the Danish women in terms of closing the gap between genders. The Philippines continues to be in the top way above the developed countries and the only Asian Country to be included in the survey conducted by the World Economic Forum.

Ever since the Swiss based World Economic Forum started their survey in 2005, the Philippines have been consistent in its Top 6 rank where Denmark rose from Rank 8 last year to rank 9 this year.

There 4 fundamental factors this study or survey were based from

· Economic participation and opportunity- female labour force over male

· Educational attainment – Literacy rate of women over male

· Political Empowerment- women with ministerial positions, members of the parliament or Senate and congress and head of state over the past 50 years leaders

· Health Survival- female life expectancy over male and sex ratio at birth

The gender gap index showed that Filipino women have achieved equality or surpassed men in educational attainment, healthy life expectancy and improving opportunities for skilled women professionals. The country’s scores on political empowerment also improved further as well as other economic indicators such as estimated income, labour force participation and income equality for similar work.

Top 10 Global Gender Gap Index

1. Norway

2. Finland

3. Sweden

4. Iceland

5. New Zealand

6. Philippines

7. Denmark

8. Ireland

9. Holland

10. Latvia

You can also download the pdf file of the report.

Source: World Economic Forum

The Filipinas and the Danish both got a top score when it comes to educational attainment, and more women in the Labour force as legislators, senior officials, and managers as well as professional and technical workers.

Some basic data between Denmark and the Philippines

But if you look at the table above the Danish women fare much better with having twice the length of paid maternity leave of a Filipina.

Here in abroad sometimes when you say that you are from the Philippines they just nod their head and thinks that most of us are domestic helpers, care givers, entertainers, aupairs or just out to find a rich husbands we should be proud that we are world class because there is gender equality in our country.

We have big future ahead of us we are still young as a country in comparison with the other countries in the top 10. But thanks to the OFW’s ( the domestic helpers, the care givers, the aupairs, etc.) who are also a big factor why the Filipina women are on top positions and educational attainments because their remittance help finance the education or schooling of their families.

We still needs a lot of improvement in some areas like the maternity leave benefits which are far below the develop countries, more women in the congress and the Senate, reduce the infant mortality rate of 24 out 1000 birth and mortality rate of mother at birth of 230 out 1000. With the results of this survey I hope that the Philippine government will do something to close the gender gap to help reduce hunger and poverty.

Don’t you think it is amazing were Top 6 when it comes to gender equality?

Another sad story which you almost hear regularly when you read news about OFW (Overses Filipino Worker) coming home in the Philippines in a box or coffin. But this time the victim is not an OFW, but she was living with a Dane in Singapore and her name was Janeth Calamohoy a native of Alicia Zamboanga .The police report says that she jumped on the 5th floor condominium apartment. But the families doesn’t believe that she committed suicide since she did not fall face down rather obtaining injuries at back of her skull. Therefore Janeth’s sister will leave for Singapore to coordinate with the Singaporean Police to speed up the investigation.

It’s good to hear that the OWWA (Overseas Welfare Admisitration Admisnistration) helped her even though she wasn’t an OFW. This is an interesting story because there is a danish national involved which seems like they will questioned him with the incident. I just hope that it will not be another jealousy related incidents that has been happening here in Denmark.

Since 2002 when I discover blogging, I was just a reader or what they call a blog hopper . I discovered it when I was homesick and I goggled anything about the Philippines. Back then I enjoy reading other blogs most were through Pinoyblog.com get to know some who were pioneer i pinoy blogging. Then I started to blog but I don’t know what to write about. But I was a perfectionist I want to write like the big timers but I’m not a writer and i also got scared on what I read in some comments or in the forums where even the slightest grammatical error were commented. I thought I can not take that.

Just like learning the a new language at first I was so hesitant to speak even I got a grade of 10 (B)in writing and grammar but I’m still poor in communication because everybody was correcting me and I don’t want to be corrected even with good or bad intentions. But then somebody told me just speak so that you learn, it’s their problem if they can’t understand you, she told me. So I did, even my tongue got twisted I tried and now they can not sell me anymore.

The lesson is I don’t care if my writing is not peerfect but maybe in a year or so I will improve so just I write to my hearts content. And for the first time, 2 weeks ago my stats counter plummeted from just less than 100 to now 442 hits wow and someone commented. I felt the excitement especially when there’s some comments waiting to be moderated and wow it’s nice to be noticed especially some of the fellow mommy bloggers like Brownpinay, pinaymommyonline, and desperateblogger cared to visit my site and commented and linked my site to them. I felt ecstatic, I thought star bloggers are snob but not all. All I need to do is to interact not just a reader then you’ll get a response.

So to all who those who read my blog thank you for your time and I try my best to come up with something. I read a tip that you just act yourself so I going to blog about what I like and care about and I will publish some posts that’s been lying on my draft for along time.

I new to this so just hang on there I’m still in the process of learning if you have any corrections, tips or comments I would surely welcome it.

Happy blogging!!!

Welcome to my blog. This blog is about my own thoughts about motherhood, parenting, my experiences of my integration to the new society while the taking pride of my Filipino culture. Living abroad taught me a lot of things and also look at things in another perspective.

Somebody ask me when I was new here what is your culture it took me awhile before I can not answer because this things we don’t think so much in the Philippines. Then I tried to remember all the things that makes a Filipino and be try to tell them about it.

It was funny though that while in the Philippines we usually looks forward to what’s new abroad but now it is the opposite. I’m quite new to blogging, ok i started some but quite apprehensive what to write about but now I consider to do it seriously.

I also fond of photography and architecture so I will try once in a while to blog about it.

Nice reading.