The Filipina Mom in Denmark

Yesterday Belgium were shocked to hear that 2 children and 1 adult were killed by a man who went into amok in a kindergarten and injured furthermore 10 children an 2 adults.  The killings happened in Dendermonde, 30 kilometers north of Brussels.  The doctors are still fighting to save the injured both children and adults. There were 18 children in total present during the rampage luckily most of the children are out. They said that the man painted his face black and white inspired by the joker in the Batman movie.  He just announced that he wanted to ask something and upon entering he just went to the small children area with under 3 years old children and started stabbing.  It’s horrible just to imagine babies who can not even talk, or stand up experience that.  Some of the pictures shown on the TV the police have to write a number on the children’s forehead for identification purposes because they don’t even know how to contact the parents.

According to what I hear in the news that the children are Vuggestue children which means they are younger than 3 years old.Having a 3 year old and my nephew still go tot he Vuggestue (A day care institution for small children form 6 months to 3 years old) my hearts bleeds and I offer sympathy and condolence to the Belgian parents.  I don’t know how to cope up with that situation.

Click to see and hear the original news in English here

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/batman-killer-stabs-children-in-belgium-1514532.html

http://www.truveo.com/As-many-as-3-dead-in-Belgium-daycare-centre/id/2305843011866251858

It seems that the man was insane and had been to the psychiatric hospital and he is fascinated with the batman movie which I just watch the other day and I commented to my husband this joker is ruthless and evil with no empathy to anyone than the one played by Jack Nicholson.  His room  full of Heath Ledger paraphernalia and yesterday where the killings occurred is  his death anniversary.  The police are looking for the motives of the killing and the connection of the joker.   I just hope that he just chose batman instead of the joker. Which remind us to be vigilant on what kind of movies our children are seeing and what they surfing on the net and always be really to guide and give explanations.

I Denmark we also  leaves our children in the institution there is a Day Care for 3 years old and below and the kindergarten for 6-3 years old. Now  everybody is questioning the safety and security if the institutions which sometimes are tainted with pedophile and violence within the personnels once in while but note it is not rampant here. But nonetheless some became so paranoid that we can not take pictures of the children while in the institution because we signs a agreement if we allow them to post our children in their homepage or not so to it is not allowed to take a picture of your own children together with others.  It’s sad but that’s life nowadays I call it the disadvantage of the digital world.

Please say a prayer for the dead victims and fast recovery of the injured ones that hope that they will forget the dark chapter of their lives and especially to the parents I once again sympathize with them. Pray also that these violent episodes may not happens in the future.

The scandal of contaminated milk that killed 4 babies in china makes me angry and it terrifies me seeing the news on with all those babies lying on the hospital fighting for their lives. How can they do that terrible thing to babies.

According to the news in the TV there are at least 6,000 affected and more parents still flocks the hospital to have their children checked for contamiantion. There are 1,300 babies that are still in the hospital and 168 have kidney problems. They have found traces chemical specifically of melamine which is being used in plastic kitchen utensils like cups and saucer, glues, laminates in furnitures and many things. There are some who says that they used melamine to increased the protein contain in the milk so they can passed the strict requirement.

The milk in question is Sanlu is produced by China’s biggest dairy producer but the world largest dairy producer from New Zealand, Fonterra the world’s biggest dairy trader who owns 43 % of Sanlu said in their press release that they already known about it since august. But how come that it just now that we heard about it according to the different newspaper it was due to China’s policy on covering news. I just hope the Chinese government can find the root of the problem and put to jail those who are responsible.

I don’t know but I just really disgusted with this news. I also at some point gave my son breast milk supplement although I breastfeed for at least two years because I thought that he wasn’t getting enough milk from me but I’m glad that he himself preferred breast milk.

In the Philippines most mothers use infants formula because of many claims form the producers of higher IQ, speedy growth, and many others because they put a lot of vitamins and minerals. But Just as what they always label their products that “Breastfeeding is the best for babies” which is true. But of course there’s a lot of reasons why they can breastfeed like getting back to work. But I think it’s most of it is lack of information from the health department which should give guidelines to all pregnant women and parents about child care. Because even mothers from poor sectors in the country uses infant even it so expensive formulas because of lack of guidance from health workers but it’s what they see in the commercials.

I hope that the Philippines authority will act and bans importation of suspected dairy products from china and warns the public about the dangers of this milk as other countries have done. This not only confines to powder milk but all dairy products like yogurt, cheese, butter and ice cream.It should be a wake up call for the health authorities to sit down and think about infant care and information dissemination and don’t let the big Pharmaceutical companies do it just to promote their products but rather use them to give the right information about infant or child’s health. And to the dairy producer or the big pharmaceutical companies I hope that they will be RESPONSIBLE and reminded that they are dealing with human beings not guinea pigs and not just think about big profits.

How about you what do you think about this news/scandal?

Today my sister in law gave birth to two healthy identical baby boys so my brother was on 9th heaven. My brother left his wife and 2 daughter last November hoping to find a job to give his family a better future. He is a practicing dentist in the Philippines but even he has 2 clinics in the province, it is not enough to send his children to a good school so even it was so painful for him he left. Two months later he received the news that my sister in law was pregnant and a month later the doctor told my sister in law that it could be twins and was later confirmed by ultrasound. Wow it was so amazing my brother just wished for a boy since he already got 2 girls but The Lord granted his prayer with 2 in 1.

My nephews came out two weeks earlier because their mother suffered high blood pressure so the doctors immediately decided to do it through cesarean section. But we thank the Lord that the mother and the twins are healthy.

Baby Javier

My son today cycle all the way to the day care around 300m. We crossed some streets and two stoplights. It went smooth but of course I have to be very fast. We bought a 2 wheeled without support bicycle for him because the 3 wheeled bicycle was too easy for him. It will improve his balancing ability which will prepare him when he will use the real cycle when he turns 4 or 5 years old. It will also train him to use the brake and the important thing

This is actually good choice because it is too light only 3.1 kilos so when I can carry it anytime when he’s tired or carry it home in the 4th floor. There is also a pedal kit that you can install when he’s older enough to use the pedal but unfortunately the dealer don’t have any stocks. It took me while to choose between two different German made bicycle which is around 1200 DKK (@220 US$) but this one I chose was cheaper only 600 DKK but it looks more like small version bicycle and I like the color.

He’s very proud of it and every time he meet somebody he just say “See my new bike I love my bike”.

Update on my earlier post about my son’s biting habits. We met with the personnel on the day care for the second time 4 months after the first meeting because they were very worried about my son’s biting other children. He wants to play but he don’t know how to respect other children borders. They gave us a month to observe him and suggested that we seek help and find a child psychologist to help him because they think he’s socially way behind. This keeps me worried and look back what I have done wrong but according to his doctor he will outgrow it he’s totally normal he said.

One month passed we did not heard from the day care because he was sick for 3 weeks so it was forgotten or maybe he just changed his habits. He also learned to push and hit that but I think slowly he learned how to behave with other children. But still I watch him carefully whenever he’s in the playground because he might push other children when he don’t get what he wants.

Two months had passed I can see that he’s playing fine with his cousin but now it’s the other way around my son always tells me “Mother He bites me”. Now he’s on the other side he’s now getting bite marks as often from his cousin same as he given him before.

It’s the same reasons why my nephew bites because he can not express what he wants. But the problem is my sister can not speak danish so she speaks to him in Filipino and English and of course danish. Last Friday their pedagog spoke to us because they don’t know what to do with our children because my son was bitten by the cousin and they also hit each other once in a while. Note that they are in the same team or room in the day care.

Are we filipinamoms are different in upbringing our children? But some wiser parents told us that it’s normal because they are like pseudo twins and we are live right next to each other. There is sometimes jealousy and fighting to their way for our attention.n At home of course it happens sometimes but they easily forgot the episode say I’m sorry and hug each other and everything will be fine. It’s funny though that my son can say you should not bite other children, you should not hit other children, you should not push other children and so forth when his cousin did something.

The pedagog said that they going crazy with our children they even think of separating them but of course it will can’t be. I think they just have energy than most danish children. I have a classmate who studed something about genetics said that a product of two races inherit the strong character from both sides. I don’t know if that’s true but our boys are surely energetic but they also sweet as angels.

It’s been bothering me for sometime this question because today we had a meeting with my sons pedagogue because of his persistent biting that’s been going on for almost a month now. He has one favorite victim, his 6 months younger cousin. Everyday the poor guy receives at least 3 bite-marks luckily he’s already vaccinated with anti tetanus.

Here’s some probable causes why he bites and why especially his cousin who happens to be our neighbor.

1. Communication – he cannot yet speak so instead he bites when they mean this is my toy do not play with it, leave me alone, a want that toy, I not glad today and so many things. Sometimes it will even mean the other way around that he’s so glad so bites.

2. Attention seeking – wants to get attention. After biting there’s always crying and suddenly an adult will come to break him away from his victim then his a star.

3. Frustrations – because he not yet express want he wanted which is understandably frustrating. Do you get what I mean.

4. Territorial – He started to a little bit too early in the day care actually he was the first baby they received so he’s kinda spoiled not just he’s their baby but he’s also sweet and charming. It was his nursery before but now he has to share the place and the adult attention to others but most especially to his loving cousin. There’s always new one coming in his day care where he started because they will only stay there for a maximum 2 Years and 1o months.

5. Language – He’s maybe confused to be in a multi language home like us. My husband and I speak Danglish (danish english) even the programmes we’re watching in the tv are in english. I tried to speak to him in Filipino language so my parents will understand him and my sister speaks also panggasinan dialect.

6. Jealousy – we think he so jealous of his little cousin well, who suddenly stole the light from him. The cousin became bigger and more and stronger than he actually so many he’s intimadated. His cousin also used to hit him with almost anything so maybe he’s irritated by this by the way my son is only 21 months old and his cousin is only 16 months old.

Those were the very obvious reasons why he bites because we don’t fight or shout at home and he’s very sweet and I did not have any problems with him ever since. But he needs to learn to learn to play with other kids.

He’s not not the only one who bites they said it’s very normal for toddler to go to this phase. But as a parent it’s frustrating when you always see he’s doing it over and over again. Or you meet one parent saying their daughter has my sons perfect teeth impression. Although they understand it makes me so sad.
The purpose of our meeting is not suspension I hope i will not go through this in the future is how we can help each other to guide him to more social and make him realize that he had some limitations that his not acceptable. That they are doing all what they are trained for in child behavior that we need to be in consistent at home so he will not be confused.

What should we do?

1. First when biting happens we should take him away and say No stop this it’s hurt and console the bitten one then show the bitemark and say aww aww it hurts do not do it again but try to refocus him in other thing or toy but if he’s still in the biting mode which sometimes hard to predict because sometimes it’s totally unprovocated I’m taking about his favorite cousin. Put him away in a chair or I do sometimes to just put his to his crib to cool off.

2. I realized before our meeting that maybe I should only talked to him in danish only because he’s beginning to talk and always asking question “what is that? ” almost every minute and I am really amazed how fast he learns new words every time and I can hear that he’s really focus on widening his vocabulary.

3. Try to be more involve like playing some activity games and can even invite his cousin and learn him that he has share and fun to play with someone.

4. Be quick to anticipate when he’s going to strike because you can not isolate him so he has be with others.

5. Try to teach him to show empathy or compassion to other for example show him when someone is crying that they are sad say instead shh don’t cry. I sometime ask him me with putting his lego in its box because I am tired of picking up after him and even acting like my back is aching come help me Aww my back help me then he helps me or helping putting the milk in cooler and so on ..

6. Don’t try to scold him when he bites just plain no and not raised or excited voice just normal but firm No. They say try to act right away but when it’s over don not try to remind him that what he’s bad or he did was wrong. In short don’t make a big thing out it so he will not feel that he affecting everybody. Try to be relax and calm.

7. Praise him when he do some good things. or proper things.

So I hope that he will soon get over this biting phase. I’m very thankful for the personnel who’s taking this matter very professional usually parents thinks of many things like me for example questions like where did I go wrong and my mother after having 5 childrens said maybe it his fathers genes which of course he’s from other end of the planet.