Filipino Au Pair’s In Denmark Story

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I’ve been really bothered when you hear about the sad plight of Au pairs here in Denmark I always thought that it’s sole Filipina problem but I found out that there’s also a handful of male filipino au pair and I contacted this former au pair here in Denmark his name Almay Aguirre. He had been carrying her bad experience for a long time but by telling his story in his blog it lightens his heavy heart now he is with me in au pair awareness advocacy. Please read his story and tell me what you think.
Almay Aguirre, The Filipino Au pair

Almay Aguirre, The Filipino Au pair

Let me tell you a story about me being an Au pair in Denmark, In the Philippines before I have applied as Au pair, I was told by a close friend of mine that if I was interested to work in Denmark, she was able not mention what type of work it was and at that moment I was not so knowledgeable of what type of work I was dealing with, with me at that time hearing even just a word “abroad” is just too far from a dream come true because thousands and thousands of Filipino graduates are striving hard and to find employment locally and abroad. As I have heard from my friend telling me if I was interested working abroad, my mind was just instantly blown away and I have not wasted a seconds to reply “yes” I am very interested. After that I had started asking her what to do, what are the thing needed for me to qualify, I also told her “in a joking way” that I am very willing to sell anything or even my “underwear” if I had too hehe! just for me to go abroad, you should know the facts that even if you grow old working in a supermarket or any Shopping Mall in the Philippines the salary of an Au pair in Denmark or was it called “Allowance” at 2500 dkk.


according to http://www.xe.com/ucc/convert.cgi:

is much bigger than a salary of a company ranked Manager, well it depends actually which company manager, if the company is just a local and newly established company then it is little a higher but if it is an international based company then it’s a little close on some of the companies in the Philippines. so then this good friend of mine has financed me everything from the start from gathering requirements expenses, visa fees, travel expenses and up to the time that she was also the one who bought me my ticket from Manila to Denmark. the only problem with the situation is that it cost me and her so much for I was not expecting it would reach up to a hundred thousand pesos and more of a total expenses. anyway I was under an informal Au pair agency where she has also undergone before. let me tell you in a simple mathematical ways:

Applying as Au pair from the Philippines depends on your logic, inside contacts and strategy:

Travel Expenses: (from your local province or city up to Departing the country)

  1. Plane Ticket from your local province before passing an application
  2. Lodging Allowance: (if you don’t have any relatives living near the Embassy or Consulate)
  3. Embassy Fee: (According to embassy)
  4. Plane Ticket returning to your local province after passing an application
  5. Plane Ticket for having a visa stamp on your passport
  6. Here comes the Plane ticket expenses
  7. Not to mention Fees for Exiting the country hahaha!
  8. before I forgot the Fees for the one who finds your host family or employer :) (very unlawful but some people has no choice)

Please take note: that it is very unlawful that someone will ask for a payment for finding your host family but in reality it really happens, It is like a commission for them that their reason is they are the one who finds your host family and some people says that it is their responsibility of finding another one who will be replacing you after your contract has ended, well let me tell you that you can report them to the police for it is very unlawful for us, never let it happen to you or to anyone, some people sell their properties and some sell all of their live stock just for them to afford to pay in going abroad but scammers are so nasty and please be aware always, and last thing you have to wait for your approval from the Danish Immigration in Denmark maybe mostly for 1-2 months if your lucky.



Source: http://www.norway.ph/visa+announcement/new+visa+fee+010208.htm

After I had arrived in Denmark I was not aware that I will be staying out of my host family (another expenses) and paying for my own food (another expenses), I arrive January 17, 2007 and I lasted for ten months with my first family that means that I have been paying my own food for ten (10) months which is unlawful, paying my apartment which is another very unlawful for me, there was no problem with my first family actually but the problem is they have no spare room for their Au pair, they were giving 210 dkk for a bus card and that’s it. well my friend has given me some extra for my spare time in the morning that had helped me in my daily expenses but it was not enough and that extra (Black Money) I was talking about was unlawful and could get you in big trouble and be deported if caught by the local police automatically. I had to change three (3) apartments in just a ten (10) months for the reason I was looking for a place where it’s cheaper, The first apartment had cost me 1200 dkk monthly that lasted only for three (3) months, my second apartment had cost me 1600 dkk monthly and the last apartment of mine had cost me 2000 dkk (this one is a whole house I have rented for they are friends of my first host family) but then after all things that had happen I have realise that I was working had but all of my earnings are not for me but all had come to my expenses. even my salary I had to pay it for my rent, boy! I can tell you how sorry I was for me having a situation like that, and I was always saying to my self I was supposed to be in abroad to uplift myself but lucky me I was in pain hard work and misery, so then a few months later I decided to find a new host family and talked to my first host family about the situation that there was no problem having them as my host family but the problem is of me living out of the family paying my own rent and food which is supposed to be their responsibility. I have waisted no time and transferred as soon as possible to m new host family and I was happy having my own room and privacy, no more apartment fees, food allowance from your sweat and no more “Black Money“. I have just ended my contract last 26 of October 2008 and went home to my homeland Philippines.

Quick Tips:

For Au pairs, please if you have any problem regarding any situation either financially or personal with your host families talk to them politely about the problem, if they listen to you and understand you they will make a solution for the problem but if they will just do nothing and your salary is always delayed and etc…, waste no time find a new one which you feel comfortable to live with. If I could help about anything, please send me a mail via my email:

almayaguirre@gmail.com

or leave a comments to this post.

For Families, Please do not delay the salary of your Au pairs for they have a family depending on them either they are the one who pays for the tuition of their sibling’s or the bread winner of the family. please be aware that your Au pairs are not the “murmuring type” for if we don’t like the way you treat us, we just stay quiet and find a new host family signed a contract before we tell you about the problem, of course we analyze first the situation for there are so many different types of problems faced by the Au pair and the families they are living with.

Au pairs always be informed, don’t be scammed, don’t pay for anyone who you think is not authorized for finding you a host family.

Well all for now and GOD Bless you all always,

Brew :)

You can visit his blog www.aupairdanmark.blogspot.com
His blog is very informative for those who are aspiring to work as au pair her in Denmark and other parts of the world.

Do you have any au pair stories to share here or in his blog happy or sad stories are welcome.

Update from Cathy’s Story
Good news!!!She started with a new host today so lets hope and pray for her that her new family will treat her nice and respect her rights and that she will enjoy her stay here in Denmark and finally learn the culture and visit the museums and nice historical places that she had not experienced before.
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32 Comments

  1. Its great to hear such interesting journey you had expirience..i might also tell mine hehe..my horible expirience until now..tnks anyway

  2. There is especially one thing I deeply admire about Filipinos and that is their politeness under almost all circumstances.

    As a Dane I try but find it almost impossible to be polite always and especially when I know I am being treated unfair.

    I am not sure if being polite is the right way to root out these Danish families who obviously believe that an Au Pair is a servant. They should not be allowed to get an Au Pair in the first place.

    An Au Pair is a person that is supposed to become a member of the host family and basically be treated like the parents would treat an older teenager with the normal responsibilities such a teenager would normal be given by the parents.

    That could be to look after a younger family member, do the dishes, cleaning, mow the lawn, cooking and do some shopping (all things I did when I was a teenager except taking care of siblings since I was the youngest).

    Denmark is a country of rules and regulations for everything and this also applies for Au Pairs.

    There are ways of complaining and settling disputes for Au Pairs but I get the feeling that this is not properly informed to especially Au Pairs from countries outside Europe.

    I will try and do some investigations and be back with the results here when my schedule allows.

    One reason for not persuing a case for an Au Pair could be the fear of being sent home but let me try to find out how the position of an Au Pair is legally in that case. I seem to remember that an Au Pair will not be sent home just like that but offered a new host family.

    However, the more complaints the authorities can get the better because Denmark is also a very bureaucratic country so unless they receive a certain amount of complaints they tend not to take action quickly.

    In very bad cases I would even recommend to take the case to the boulevard press like Ekstrabladet because they will take up the case if they believe it can sell and they have direct contacts to all the relevant authorities.

    In other cases where legal help is needed there is actually a free legal help and advice forum called Retshjaelpen in Copenhagen but I need to find out if they also help Au Pairs.

    I think it is ok to be nice but do not try to be nice for too long. If a host family knows the rules but still try to cheat you there is little hope that being nice will get you anywhere. Remember you are in Denmark where people tend to be more cynical and straight forward than may be normal in The Philippines.

    • Hi Jan,
      Thank you very much for your comment and offer of help. Just recently there was a hearing in the Parliament about the aupair situation in the country which focus particularly about the filipina aupairs that are flooding the danish homes. But you’re right that the it is very bureaucratic while as we talk there hundreds of filipino aupairs who are misused at this moment. Lucky for those who has a good network they have somebody to ask for help or advice but how about those who doesn’t know anybody. Just today I heard on au pair who died of cancer but we don’t know anything about it but we will try our best to find out whre the body lies maybe call the hospitals.
      It is really sad sad thing when you meet my fellow filipinos who are suffering and what saddened me most when you visit some aupair sites/forum some people are just so mean it’s like they 2,500 is too big just imagine that’s only 625/ week while when they hire a danish babysitter they will pay around dkk500.
      It’s not also only the danish who needs to study the aupair system but also our fellow filipinos that they should know what its all about.
      I will surely contact if we need some help specially now that there are a lot who were recruited from Singapore who maybe promised a bigger salary but they don’t know that it i not domestic work they are entering.
      Men jeg ville sige Glædelig jul og Godt nyt år ti din familie.

      med hilsen,

      Ana

    • can u please give me ur email address, i would klike to share something from you,,, you contact me on this add: twin_mercado@yahoo.com

    • Hi Jan,
      I am married to a danish guy for about 9 years now and got 3 kids. My husband and i have decided to move in DK on august 2012 for good. I would love to know the Danish Law. I hope you can help me……
      Thank you so much.

  3. I have found the following websites that may be a help to understand the legal rights and obligations of an Au Pair and the Host Family as well as a website for legal aid for people with minor economical means.

    http://www.nyidanmark.dk/en-us/coming_to_dk/au_pairs/au_pairs.htm

    http://www.retshjaelpen.dk/indexuk.php

    Please remember that if you are not being treated in accordance with the rules discuss it politely with your host family once and if that does not help seek help immediately to find another host family. Please don’t let yourself be lured into sick explanations that they will pay you etc in a few weeks and so on. Take decisive action and remember that you have rights according to Danish law and your Host Family likewise have obligation according to the same laws.

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everybody.

    Jan

    • hello jan,

      i am an aupair in denmark last jan 2007-aug 2009bmy experience is good and i have a very nice host family
      but i have a friend who is still working as an aupair there until now from nov2007 up to date.as for her she is still willing to stay there and work because she has a family to support in the phils but she is also being abused..she works from 7.30 am to 10 pm..just imagine!her host sometimes delays her salary,and i dont know if she is still legal in denmark or not already.she is still staying with her host family up to now.she lives at charlottenlund.

  4. Hi Ana,

    Thank you. The maid we have right now here in Singapore was formerly working for a Chinese family and was grossly mistreated so I financed her return to the Philippines and the processing of papers to come back to Singapore to work for us.
    My policy is to treat any maid as part of the family because it develops another level of mutual understanding, respect and loyalty. She still have a hard time accepting that I sometimes go in the kitchen and cook for all of us but that is just my way.
    It is true that it is not only Danish families who mistreat Filipino Au Pair’s. Sometimes the Filipino Au Pair’s also have to go through agencies in the Philippines that take their hard saved money sometimes without delivering any service.
    With respect to Danish families who tries to cheat Au Pair’s I still lean towards the recommendation that being polite or intimidated for too long does not solve the problem. The Au Pair has rights and obligations according to the rules for Au Pair’s and the Host Family has that as well so I recommend to use those rules, not out of malice but simply because they are there.
    As I read the rules the Au Pair cannot be sent home unless the rules have been violated by the Au Pair. If this is not the case then the Au Pair will be given sufficient time to find another Host Family in order to finish the 18 months tenure.
    Unfortunately Denmark does not have a system in place like the Au Pair system for caregivers because if they did I would have a caregiver employed to tend to my old mother.
    Anybody can contact me for advice concerning rules and documents, especially if there is concerns about translation of Danish documents into English.

    I may be reached on the following e-mail addresses:

    smovsen@yahoo.com
    jan@oersnaes.dk

    Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

  5. hi there,

    Im not an au pair. But I am certainly half filipino and half danish. Right now, i live Denmark with my brother. I have one question?

    Is it possible to own an apartment in Denmark, even if you live in a different country at the same time?

    Because my mom is Filipina and she is a danish citizen but she is married to my Canadian Stepfather. They both live in Canada. And she wants to own an apartment so that me and my brother would rent from her, instead of moving around like crazy in Denmark.

    So it would be great if you could give me some knowledge, as I have not lived long in Denmark for several years.
    Thanks!

    -Vanessa

    • @ Vanessa,
      That’s a tough question but it is possible that your mom can buy a property her but she will still pay taxes here in DK which she will earn from renting it out. It is called Limited Tax Liability
      Check this out from SKATt website under begrænset skattepligtet that is in danish.
      I used google translate it means

      Limited tax liability

      You will be taxed to some extent of your Danish income, even if you are not fully taxable in Denmark. Tax liability is limited to certain species of income from sources in Denmark.

      Please include limited tax if you have:

      Income from employment and income in the form of fringe benefits here from the country for personal work for an employer who has home things in this country or is subject to tax to Denmark by a permanent establishment here – so that the employer operates from a branch or similar in this country. Work must be done in this country. For a foreign bygge-/anlægsforetagende you are taxable from the first day.
      Income from employment and income in the form of other fringe benefits for work on board ships and aircraft located in this country.
      Income in the form of particular retirement, pension or directors’ fees, rent and miscellaneous work education services.
      Income from a business with a permanent place in this country or from participation in or lease of a business with a permanent establishment here.
      Income from real property, for example by renting out a house.
      Dividends and similar from Danish companies.
      Certain types of royalties from sources in this country.
      You can only deduct expenses to the extent they relate to those resources. Limited tax may, under certain specific conditions, obtain credit for other expenses. See the section on Cross-border commuters.

      Have you earned income from Denmark, but do you live abroad and are married, you may under certain circumstances get a special deduction from your taxable income. The deduction is in 2008 41.000 kroner a year or 1 / 12 the amount per. commenced calendar months with limited liability.

      You cease to be limited to taxation on income from business or property, as mentioned above, you must file tax returns under the same rules as in the section on Final tax return. The short tax return deadline, which indicates the section, except if you also become fully taxable.

      But if you have nay question you can always ask the tax authority or the SKAT.

      I hope this will be of any help.

  6. I have a question im here in the Philippines my friend refer me to a host family in Denmark then I downloaded the scan applications that my host family sent. Then i forwarded all the necessary documents needed together with the application which i downloaded. So it is possible to pass it in the Denmark and my host family is the one processing and applying for a visa for me instead here in the Philippines which i read in the application that i would pass it in the norwegian consulate here. Please help me give an idea im confuse with it, I communicate with my host family she said to me that it is on processing now the embassy in Denmark accept it so it means it can be.

  7. hi im nemia from philippines…im just asking if on how to apply going in denmark?coz my sister wants to apply in denmark..but shes in bahrain….or how can we contact or where to go or where to apply for it?kindly give me an idea on how?thanks my email>>>nemia_tan2003@yahoo.com kindly reply for me pls…?

  8. Hi FilipinaMom,

    I would appreciate if you get back to me with the processes required for a Filipina after she has already found a host family in Denmark like what documents should be prepare and approximate amount to be prepared for the fees. Should the host family shoulder the expenses?

  9. Pingback: My Au pair Experience | Au pair's Awareness Blog

  10. Hi I'm Chloe…. I just wanna asked if is it applicable in Denmark to go there using a tourist visa and when there already applied for stay permit? My host family told me to have this way so that I can be there immediately… Please help me… Thanks

  11. @Mary Nice to hear that you had a nice experience as an aupair. I think it depends with the aupair if she/he allowed to be treated poorly. One of the things the aupairs need to learn is to say NO or to be prank of what you feel. Keeping the bad feelings, tampo or pakipot doesn't help. Communication is important in any relationship. I'm glad for you.
    God Bless.

  12. hello happy new year to all. I have a question, is it possible to study in the university her denmark after working as au pair? or is it possible to apply as caregiver here so i can stay more years here in denmark?

  13. hi im an aupair i need advised im so confused and dissapointed my host family is starting to be paranoid they think that i will escape anytime like their previous aupair now the problem is they r holding my passport and they dont want to give it to me their explanation is in case of theft what a wierd explanation ryt i dont care if im working more than 5 hours a days im good to them but they r treating me like this i feel i have no freedom.thanks and more power.

    • Hello Jelyn,

      Hindi pwede yan na itatago nila yung passport what ever is the reason property mo yan. Bakit sila tinakasan ng aupair nila dahil ba sobra sa work so hindi silang magandang host. You need to talk to them if they will not give your passport tell them youa re going to seek help.

      Just email me kung ayaw nilang ibigay. Katatapos l ang ng Information meeting with Immigration yan ang no.1 na advise nila.

      Regards,

      ana
      Note: (i sent you an email too)

  14. hello!!
    can i ask you u bout my situation??im 33 years old and willing to work in denmark but the age range is making me undecided(18-29)..is there any possibilities that a 33 year old like me can work there as aupair??thank you very much for your time..

  15. hello!!im from philippines…and my friend says that the aupair there in DK have age range between 18-30 and im verymuch interested to apply my age is 33 years old is there in posibilities i can work in denmark as nanny or watever they call it..thank you very much for your time..and this is my email add vmhinnerva@yahoo.com.

  16. hi, i'm just wondering, is being an au pair the only possible and easiest way to get a job in denmark? That fact really is too disheartening…

  17. Have learnt a lot. Thank you and wish you everything is ok.

  18. hi im from philippines that soon will be in denmark, to be tourist in 3 months,, how much is the ticket from manila to copenhagen? and where do i go to have the visa stamp? thank u soo much for reading my comment,, godbless,

  19. hello,this is ragna fr0m phil.. Half filipina half danish..my father already past away 6yrs ago. And i never been there in denmark but stil i have my c0mmunicati0n with my relatives,family there in denmark and i talked to my uncle br0ther of my father that i want to w0rk there,then he t0ld me to apply as an aupair f0r he can’t help me f0r n0w because he have a cancer..then i search aupair in g0ogle and i reg. As an aupair on my first experience is that i f0und a fake,scammer acting as a h0st family we used to talk bout agreement in w0rking,1st she let me to send all my info,like she’s interviewing me..but after that she t0ld me to send her atleast £600 f0r my vissa,i t0ld her that if its okei if she’ll just deduct it to my salary,but she refused instead telling me that i realy nid to send it f0r me to w0rk as an aupair.bef0re we start pr0ccessing all the req..but i never did it,til because i kn0w she’s a scammer,she used diff. Email acct. And putting it in her acct. In aupair.c0m f0r us to c0ntact her directly..til n0w i am finding a h0st family..just wanna ask if it is p0ssible that i can find a families that is willing to pr0vide all my travel expences?even salary deducti0n?

  20. hi hello, Good day, this is laila, i would like to ask some help if how to apply as au pair in Denmark, coz i am so much interested to work there,i have known lots of people here in our place that work there, and as i saw there pics in a social network they all fun and its like their host family are just their friends and good to them, and i wish i can work there, so pls can u help me where i can find a direct host family or any recommendation u can offer? pls, i been looking for a host family since last 2009 in the internet and i already login all the sites of an au pair to look for a host family, but all i got was all scam and liar people, so pls can u help me, Thank u so much.. can u email me ur reply here in my email-libralaihf88@yahoo.com, thanks.

  21. Incredible! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a entirely different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Great choice of colors!

  22. hello,,i read your story about u,and i am very interesting,.,i just want to ask only i have my near neighbor here talk and shes asking me if i'd like to work in denmark because his son friends now is here in phil. and now they asking if they have any relatives that want to work in denmark and now my neighbor and his son think about me and no doubt to come at my house and share about in abroad.when my neighbor start explain about work in Denmark i got interest to work and try to apply..now friend of his son is talking that there is a money fee need prepare if that so, the first is need to give money down payment amount of 20,000 this amount is for the process of papers in den mark and looking for host there and other papers i need to before i travel in Denmark,then the remain balance of 70,000 i will give only to them if the working visa and the contract will be reach for me and sign then if i deploy .this offer is a direct hiring.. but this explanation is not yet confirm the person who's recruiting only from my neighbor,i did not yet met the person coz she's really busy but we trying to meet here in personally next week. is this not a scam? i just want to make it sure only before i give my first down payment,..coz i have already experience last year for scamming..that is y now i am very much aware…please reply me on my email add. karan_nona@yahoo.com
    thank u and god bless

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