Cathy, The filipina au pair
This is Catherine when she was in Holland, her picture reflects sweetness and contentment of her experience with her host family in Holland. But she asked me not to published her present picture because she lost weight because she don’t want her family to worry when they see her now.
Catherine story is one of the many Filipina sad stories about the bad aupair situation in Denmark. I met her last Saturday sobbing while telling me her sad flight, her sad experiences with mind you 2 danish families.
The 1st danish host family
Catherine came to Denmark almost 5 months ago hoping to broaden her cultural horizons since she already worked as an aupair in Holland for 1 year she want to extent her stay in Europe. Nearing the end of her contract in Holland she tried to find possible au pair job in Denmark and she made contact to a family in Hellerup and they hired her as their au pair or offer (that’s danish for victim).
She received 2,500 dkk monthly in allowance thats the minimum allowance set up by the state but she worked more than the allowed maximum of 30 days per week. She was asked to baby sit for many hours sometimes 10 hours per week and she tried to talked to them and they said that they will see until she noticed she was already five months. It is not only long working hours but it’s more of how they treated her badly like she was not a part of the family but a house help. For along time she can not sleep and lost so much weight and she cannot take it anymore then one day while she was crying in the train station wondering what kind of hell she end up with. Another au pair approached her and gave her a telephone number of a family who is looking for an au pair. When she informed her host that she will transfer to a new family they immediately asked her to leave and sign a paper that she is transferring to this and that but it also written there without her knowledge (it was in danish) that her service as their au pair were paid but actually they owed her at least more than half a months salary but they told her that they will send it to her new address. They gå væk translated go out go out while laughing and shouted you will work your head and ass anywhere. Well maybe she’s witch because it became true. Just read on.
The 2nd danish host family
She then contacted that family in Holte where they promised her 3000 DKK allowance and a bus ticket to the city in her free time but it turned out that this 2nd family was worse than the first one. She starts to work 7.15 prepare breakfast and pack lunch, feed the kids, prepare the clothes and bathe and clothe them. She has to clean the house pick up the kids in Hellerup, do the laundry, help with the assignment, cook dinner, feed kids, prepare clothes for the next day etc. until around 8 pm. Wow that’s more than 10 hours everyday. For few days she don’t even have any break for meal just drank some tea that’s all. So when she received her schedule she reminded the lady of the house that she should only work max. 5 hours and also give her some breaks according to the contract they both signed but the dot the answer “You should see a doctor,I think you are depressed”, who will be depressed with that schedule just take a look below.
Cathy's Schedule
- When she went to the Foreign Service office to submit her new contract for the 2nd host she told them about her 1st host and showed the paper that she signed but they said that she can not used it for anything and ask them about her salary they said that they going to write them that they have to pay her.
- Sunday she told the 2nd host that she don’t want to stay with them because of the long hours and it’s ok with them. Monday she went back again to the Foreign Service office with the lady (2nd host) to cancel the contract Cathy had submitted in the weekend but before that Cathy had to prepare breakfast and lunch of the children. I advised her that she make it sure that the conversation is in English but no they spoke in Danish and she tried to but the lady said that they will translate to her later. She asked the one worker or attendant from the foreign service if she can state the reason why she’s leaving the answer is”IT DOESN’T MATTER”. That I can not understand because according to their supervisors all au pairs that will change families should state why so if they are abused then they can reprimand the family or banning them to use the au pair system. If they heard her reasons they can tell that woman to do what is right and respect the right of the au pair. Now that lady is in the internet also looking for au pair but one Filipina she had interviewed said she wa offered only 2,500 DKK only and she thinks badly of Filipina then why she wants filipina? duh.
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21 comments
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Mel Alarilla
Saturday, November 22, 2008 at 11:13 (UTC 1)
May I invite you to join Filipinos Unite!!!. You can do so by commenting on my blog or by sending your name, address, blog’s name and blog’s url to melalarilla@gmail.com. Your participation in this movement will be highly appreciated. If you decide to join, you can copy and paste the embed code of the banner in my sidebar and place it at your own sidebar. Thank you and God bless.
Marlene
Sunday, November 23, 2008 at 02:01 (UTC 1)
It’s a horrible experience! I feel sad about her. Some people are just rude. Can’t she go back to Holland instead? She had a nice employer there.
Her second employer obviously likes Filipina au pair for some reasons-he/she thinks he can fool them. This got to be stopped!
neramie
Sunday, November 23, 2008 at 09:23 (UTC 1)
hello cath,,, so sad to know sa mga ngyari sau jan… sana makahanap ka ng new host family.. try to contact cristal ung host nia maraming kilala na naghahanap ng host family or pamela.. …. take care girl… balik kana dito sa holland….we missed u…. god bless
Chie
Sunday, November 23, 2008 at 16:44 (UTC 1)
Her story is really a heartbreaking one. I didn’t know that danish are such a stone hearted people.
Am a filipina living in Stockholm, Sweden for almost half of my life, but I didn’t heard such.
Try to listen around Cath, siguro naman may mga pinoys/pinays dyan na pusong mamon.
GOod luck ha? and God Bless… ingat lagi
//chie
Joy
Monday, November 24, 2008 at 09:31 (UTC 1)
Sad….Is it possible to know the two previous host family of her? Its just that I have some aupair friends / family who are looking for a host family in Denmark….To warn them not to take this two disgusting families.
filipinamom
Monday, November 24, 2008 at 12:50 (UTC 1)
@Mel
Thanks for the invite and I already add the image and I support your call our beloved country really needs it right now.
@ Marlene
We already hears a lot story for 3 years now but hearing it first hand I can’t believe it I thought slavery was abolished long ago but I think sometimes people are not thinking straight or they sill have subconscious Master’s instinct. Unfortunately she can not go back to Holland because au pair is only allowed 1 year and just once.
@ Neramie,
Nabasa na nya. Kung pwede nga lang eh balik na sya dyan. Pero marami din na ok na host pero taken nga lang.
@Chie,
This is the sad truth I think that most of Scandinavian are independent and are not used to having a servant like for example in the Italy and Spain and. So when they tried to an au pair that can do a lot of things wow its so nice pala they forgot the true essence of au pair.
But you know they are always pinoys who are willing to help with no strings attached madami rin dito sa Denmark.
Thank you daw sa concern.
@Joy,
I can email you the name kasi young profile nila yata nasa mga au pair sites but I will give it to by mail na lang. The worst with them is that they still wants Filipina although they thinkbadly of them. Before your friends will come try to inform them about their rights and learn to say no and be vocal anyway I’m an active member of Babaylan Women’s net work and Au pair Network they can just contact me here.
Almay Aguirre
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 13:07 (UTC 1)
Good Day,
I am Almay Aguirre, former Make Au pair from Denmark, I was one friend of Catherine who she asked for help, I had try to help her by referring her to a friend of mine who is also trying to transfer to a new host family, but I guess she already found new goood family, I am the owner and publisher of “AupairDanmark” Blog.
here is the link: “Please copy and paste to your browser”
http://aupairdanmark.blogspot.com “AupairDanmark”
My Aupair Story:
http://aupairdanmark.blogspot.com/2008/11/reality-aupair-nightmares.html
Catherine had commented on my Aupair Story.
Wish you all the best Catherine and have a pleasant day always…
more power to this site..
Med Venlig Hilsen
“Brew”
cristal
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 14:26 (UTC 1)
hi cath, this is cristal… im just worried abóut you and do please contact me… here is my number +4522854042…
we will see what we can do just dont go back to the philippines… im waiting for your call or sms me then i will call you…..
lu
Wednesday, November 26, 2008 at 13:40 (UTC 1)
hi Cathy good luck for the new host, hope it dont happened treating badly again, i have more worst bad experience too here in denmark from the first host and my new present host family too, hope they will read that the aupair is not a maid and slave.
Jan
Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 10:04 (UTC 1)
I am truly sorry to read that story.
I am Danish, married to a Filipina with two children living and working currently in Singapore.
I will try to find out which possibilities Cathy will have to get what is hers. There are actually several possibilities as well as getting the families banned from getting Au Pair again.
I am sad to say that I have seen and heard of similar cases before. A good friend of mine in Charlottenlund got their first Filipina Au Pair because she had been mistreated by another Danish family. She stayed with my friend and his family for as long as she could and eventually married a Danish man she had met while staying with them. Now her sister is Au Pair there.
I personally think it is silly that Danes cannot understand that the word Au Pair means “On even terms”. The idea with an Au Pair was never to have a domestic helper but for the AU Pair to be part of the family, learn the language and culture and do minor chores at home like a teenager would be told to do by the parents.
Even though I am in Singapore I don’t mind trying to help if I can.
I can also help with any documents in Danish so any of you will not end up in a bad situation due to language problems and I don’t charge anything. I just don’t like to see people getting cheated.
I have unfortunately seen the same here in Singapore and have so far helped several Filipina DH’s to get out of their contracts and travel back to The Philippines in order to try and find better jobs elsewhere.
Merry Christmas to everybody,
Jan
filipinamom
Thursday, December 18, 2008 at 17:49 (UTC 1)
Hi Jan,
Luckily Cathy found a wonderful host family and I think they are human enough to respect and abide what its in the law. But what the former families did not even bother to pay their dues she should submit a letter of complain to the immigration service.
She’s so thankful that a Dane commented and wanted to help warmed her heart.
I know that there’s only few rotten danish out there but it should not be shrug their shoulder and nod they should do something about it or Danmark will always be associated with bad treatment of foreigners. Take a look at this articles
http://www.kristeligt-dagblad.dk/artikel/307478:Danmark–Styrelse-skoenmaler-au-pair-pigers-forhold
http://www.kristeligt-dagblad.dk/artikel/307441:Danmark–Au-pair-skal-ikke-laengere-vaere-btillig-arbejdskraft
ana
Angie
Sunday, December 21, 2008 at 09:07 (UTC 1)
Hi, my cousin is in the U.S. and we had a talk about this au pair job in the U.S. she’s a single mom and have two kids. I had a visa denial last 2006 so we want to try this. Is it easy to apply?! I’m 23 btw. I really am interested about this and I hope you guys can respond to this.! Thanks!
filipinamom
Wednesday, December 24, 2008 at 00:35 (UTC 1)
@Angie,
You are still young and I think you are qualified but I´m not well verse in aupair in the US so you can check in their immigration site re: inforamtions on aupair and if you got a denial.
Jan
Tuesday, January 13, 2009 at 01:20 (UTC 1)
@Angie,
I am not sure the rules for Au Pair is the same in The US as in Europe. The rules in Europe, or at least with the EU, are pretty universal but in The US you may have local state regulations that may put an Au Pair in a different position.
I have mostly heard about the system with having exchange students which was, and may still be, very popular in the 1980′s and 90′s.
Before you venture into this you should try to find some informations about the conditions concerning being an Au Pair in The US.
If you have been denied visa once it may be futile anyway. On what grounds was your visa denied?
If it was denied because your interview did not go as planned it may be very difficult to get a visa.
The Americans are pretty paranoid these days about their visa procedures.
mia
Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 17:43 (UTC 1)
im an ofw from israel..i just cannot understand why cathy had to stomach such kind of treatment for three months.i think that the moment you feel that your employers are not giving you a fair treatment..you must leave the family immediately.she went to school for xxxxx! she was a teacher in the philippines..she was educated.why did she allow such thing to happen to her for three consecutive months?when you are educated you should know what to do in such cases..common sense!never allow anyone to degrade you..you must know how to fight for ur rights.you are educated..i would have understood it if you had not been in school but you finished your college..what is wrong with you?i symphatize with you and i feel bad when fellow filipinas are subjected to this kind of abuse..but sometimes respect is given only if you fight for it..only when you atke a stand on what you believe in
filipinamom
Wednesday, December 2, 2009 at 00:18 (UTC 1)
@Mia, I can understand you but the case of Cathy was still mild compared to others were also educated but you mst understand that the we are brought up to be nice especially girls never answer back to your elders, take care of your younger siblings etc. etc. especially those who came form the provinces . After knowing Cathy personally she personafies the old Maria Clara pure filipina in the flesh and I consider her may little sister.
We can not blame them because that how we we’re brought up especially those who who lives simple life you will not even learn to fight in the college have you? Of course its different when you’re active like the graduates from UP they brought up to be fighter ordinarily schools I dont think so because you still call your our teacher SIR, Ma’am even at work or anywhere which creates inequality/inferiority psychologically.
Thank you for your visit on my blog and leaving a comment.
But she is lucky to get to know Filipinas who will not look down at her because she let those families treat her that way but she learned her lesson and now she happy and empower other women who needed help.
But sometimes strong women still needs a little push when there down.
chris
Friday, April 2, 2010 at 08:22 (UTC 1)
What happens if the shoe is on the other foot? I have had a person "working" for me for extra money and she takes COMPLETE advantage of my home and my clothes how do you handle that? Not all employers are bad and not all filipinas good. There are many, many who make up stories and take advantage of the homes they live in – what then
filipinamom
Wednesday, April 7, 2010 at 08:50 (UTC 1)
@Chris,
You are right not all employers are bad same as employess anywhere in the world may it be in the Philippines or in Denmark. I’m not insinuating that all host families are bad there are always bad apples in a basket and not all Filipinos are good or the other way around
Feel sorry for you if that happens to you in the first place you should not employ a person specifically an aupair because that is against the law you might be punish and that person might suffer the consequences if he/she is caught by the authorities. Usually when you don’t treat them well that’s when they become bad but most of Filipinos are yes sir/ma’am which I think makes us more vulnerable to abuse.
shay
Friday, March 11, 2011 at 06:42 (UTC 1)
Hello to all, I am now in Hong Kong working as DH for almost 4 years now. And there's some agency here hiring an Au Pair to Holland. I am quite interested but the there's placement fee which is quite big amount. I am 28 years old now. Can a 28 years old could still be accepted as au pair? I am still single, I just want to apply because I would like to broaden my experience. Life here in Hong Kong is so hard…. we're like the modern slaves here no freedom and have to work long hours. I wanna give a try, if there's opportunity.
mhinnerva
Friday, March 25, 2011 at 02:14 (UTC 1)
im from philippines…and i have a friend whose recently residing in DK..she said shes willing to help me but there is an age range to be an aupair(18-30 yrs old).im willing to work there,but im 33 years old is there any categories where a 33 yrs old like me where belong???plz help me to my problem.thank you very much for your time…u can email me vmhinnerva@yahoo.com.
@angel_rui
Wednesday, August 24, 2011 at 19:19 (UTC 1)
I know how she feels, I'm currently working as an au pair, working from 7 am to 8 pm and their little girl successfully drove me crazy on my first week! Yay!
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