The Filipina Mom in Denmark

Goodbye 2008

I thank God for all the blessings my family received this year. I consider every living day a blessing we must cherish and appreciate it. Sometimes things don’t go the way we wanted it to be but maybe for a reason. Don’t let hatred reign your heart forget and live on don’t waste time and energy blaming yourself, your neighbor, your family and your enemies. PEACE

This year will forever etched in my memory. There’s a a lot of things that so memorable for me. For the first time I went back to the Philippines after 6 years and saw my new twin nephews and my Inang (grandmother) before she passed away last November. I also experience my son’s some kind first graduation from the day care to the kindergarten. We also celebrated christmas together with the rest of my family complete at last plus add ons (our husbands and children) for the first time after 28 years although we are sad that my father has been confined last Dec. 26 to wait for head surgery because he has brain tumor. I pray that he will have a successful surgery it just too bad that I and my sister can not be in his side.

Hello 2009

We don’t know what’s in store for us but I wish everybody a

HAPPY NEW YEAR

We say GODT NYTÅR in danish

FELIZ ANIO NUEVO in Spanish

MALIGAYANG BAGONG TAON in Filipino

We will celebrate the New Year In my Aunt Elvira place tomorrow where we will eat a wonderful dinner maybe its a stuffed goose or duck & potatoes as a main course and seafoods or fish usually steamed cod as the first course with white wine.

As far as I can remember I celebrated the New Year’s Eve like any Dane does traditionally good dinner, wine, champagne and having fun with friends and family. Six o’clock in evening everybody is tuned in the television for Queen Margarethe’s Tale and eat dinner around 7 and finished eating around 9. Watch a movie or maybe a Filipino tradition Karaoke then at 11:45 Pm while every year the Danish National DR1 sends the Dinner for One or also known as 90th Birthday well even this is very old it’s still fun to see check it You tube.

When the Copenhagen City Hall clock rings at 12:00 or her we use 24 hr 0.00 we drink champagne and cheers and wish everybody good new year. Not to forget there is a kranskage a marcipan ring cake which you can read from this http://www.odense-marcipan.dk/kob-hos-din-bager/kransekagens-historie.html and by translating it forgoogle it turns out the horn is Cornucopia is made of rings and put together to form like horn form and fill it chocolates and confects. The story says it is a symbol of fertility and prosperity. The picture below is baked by my aunt who is educated in the Danish Pastry School.

I wish verybody PEACE & PROSPERITY for the New Year 2009.

CHEERS!!!

Cornucopia Marcipan Cake

Merry Christmas

Maligayang Pasko

Glaedelig Jul

Feliz Navidad

My warm greetings to my friends and family, kababaylanes, aupairs, and my blogging friends and all our kababayans.

I`m so happy and thankful that I´m able to join the rest of my family after 28 years we are spending the christmas together. 

Happy Birthday  to our Lord Jesus and I pray that He will bless our family especially my father that will undergo an operation where they will remove a tumor in his head. Please give him the strength and also that he will be blessed with good and competent surgeons.  He´s still young and his grandchildren are still young

Lastly it´s also my brother`s birthday.  So Jess Happy Birthday.

November last year the Filipino community in Denmark were shock when Dulce, an au pair was killed in a vehicular accident. There is a on going ban of aupair in the Philippines European countries like Denmark who still approves au pair visas to thousand of Filipinas.  But when something terrible happens no one will take the responsibility not even the host country.  But the Bayanihan (Cooperative struggle) spirit of the Filipinos with the help of the Philippines Embassy her body was sent to the Philippines.  Read the rest of the story in www.babaylan.dk

Now another sad story happened to a former au pair who suddenly complained of back pain but it turned out that it was cancer please read below the letter of her cousin.

Dear Friends,

Winze

Babaylan Denmark, which I’m the board secretary is asking for kind hearted souls to help fund the repatriation of the body of Carina Camp David.

Here’s the announcement formthe Babaylan DK website:

Carina Camp David, 32 years old, passed away on December 17th, 2008 after a painful struggle with a kidney cancer at Herlev Hospital.  Her dying wish is to be able to return home and be burried in the Philippines.  For this, we ask for ask for your gnerosity and assistance in the form of cash donation to facilitate her repatriation and burial in our beloved country.

Carina David, Sept 15, 1976–Dec 17, 2008

You may deposit your cash donation to
Babaylan-Denmark Bank Account, EIK BANK – 6610 2494890.
For further information, please contact Nitnit Mongaya at tel. no. 49194690 or email filomenitahm@qmail.comThis e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Additional information:

The  Funeral mass this coming Monday dec.22 at St. Anne’s church. 11am.
There is also  a Padasal for her this saturday 12pm at Bygmestervej 33 1tv. 2400 kbn. nv.

It is part of our customs to the Philippines to attend a funeral mass even if you are not friends of the family giving money as “abuloy” (alms) but the most important  is condoling the family of the deceased.  I live near a catholic church and a cemetery and 4 years ago my husband called me that it seems there was a demonstration of hundreds of Filipinos but it was actually a funeral of beloved Filipina who helped a lot of our Kababayans in her lifetime.  But its not only famous or known people that Filipinos flock during funerals it just in our culture to offer condolences and prayers.

My Condolences to Carina Camp David’s family. I hope my donation and the others kind hearted people will help ease the pain that struck here family.

A long distance relationship… What kind of relationship is that?

“Ask a Danish man who is married to a Filipina “I said when I was told about my brother who was leaving his wife and 2 children at home, in search for greener pastures in Spain. Two months later my sister-in-law found out that she was pregnant with twins! Most westerners can not understand why Filipinos leave their families to work abroad.

I went home and looked back at my own Filipino family’s saga on how we became a truly global Filipino family.

In a traditional Filipino family, the father is considered the head and the provider of the family and he is often referred to as the “ Haligi ng Tahanan”, The Pillar of the Home. While the mother takes the responsibility of taking care of the children and managing the home, she is called the “Ilaw ng Tahanan” or the light of the home. Children see their mother as soft and calm, while they regard their father as strong and the eminent figure in the family.

But in our case our mother is the one who has the strong character; she is not only a mother to us but she also does some of the things that my father lacks like handy man, and sometimes also making ends meet when my father’s earnings can’t support their 5 children.

My father tends our fishponds but sometimes typhoons, floods, and other calamities that always pass through our province make it a very unstable source of income. He also used to be a Biyahero a merchant so we had market stalls in 3 towns in Pangasinan (a Northern Province in Luzon island, ed.) but it was still not enough to provide good education for us kids which was their dream since they had only minimal education themselves.

In 1981 our lives changed when my mother left us to join her siblings here in Denmark to find work. I still can remember that time, I cried for several hours because I cannot imagine what our life will be without her. In a family, the mother is the light for all the pains and comforts. She is the light for all the mistakes and corrections. She is the light for all the happiness and sorrows. Without that light, the house can still stand but, there will be darkness. And with the darkness, there will be constant searching for direction and survival.

I was the eldest of the five children and I was 11 at the time she left us. Her responsibilities fel on my shoulder: I washed our clothes, cooked our food, and cleaned the house. I also became the surrogate mother of my youngest sister who was only 2 years old at that time. My brothers were 6 and 8 years old and my other sister was 9. There was a constant feeling of sadness and deep longing for us to be with our mother. Birthdays, Christmas, graduations and all the special events without our mother will forever be etched in our hearts. Gifts we received like new toys or new clothes were a momentary plaster to the emotional sores that made us numb with longing for family togetherness.

I can’t remember how I felt when I saw my mother for the first time in 4 years but what I can vividly remember was my youngest sister reaction at that time. She could not recognize my mother, it took her a month to get to used to the idea that we have indeed a mother. The site of the postman was a relief during that time. I can’t describe the excitement whenever we received greeting cards or letters from our mother. That was during the pre-internet age and there were no telephone lines in our place. Whenever we missed her we would just read her letters to reassure ourselves that she still with us but just thousands of miles away.

If it was difficult for us kids, it was even more so for our father who had to assume the mother and father roles at the same time especially when we reached puberty. My father was very strict with us: no parties, no gimmicks and no discos. I almost did not attend the Junior Senior Prom (Dance Ball). There was a lot of resentment and confusion for a teenager due to hormonal changes to our bodies that were happening, but somehow we managed through the help of my one and only female cousin. Most of my aunts and uncles were also abroad at that time so mostly we had to manage ourselves.

Later, our father left us to join my mother who moved to Spain 8 years later because there were already 2 of us who went to college. After a few months my sister followed him, leaving my 2 brothers and youngest sister under the care of my grandmother. I was in college and lived in Manila at that the time until my other siblings joined me when they went to college. My parents went home every 3 years after that.

Living without our parents was difficult but it made us closer to each other, and stronger to face life’s challenges. We’ve been through a lot of problems like studying, jobs and relationship problems. We even experienced that our apartment burned down not only once but twice with most of our priced possessions like pictures from childhood and most of the material things I gained while working, burned into ashes. We were lucky to receive help from other people like my employer at that time, who gave us financial help when we needed it most. But those experiences taught us that the family is more important thing than anything else in one’s life. Material things can vanish any time.

My parents were present during our graduation except my youngest sister’s graduation. When we entered the Philippines Convention Center where our graduation was, one can clearly see the tears in their eyes and the pride to see us in our togas, when we went up the stage to receive our diplomas.

I got a degree in Civil Engineering and is now pursuing another degree in Constructing Architect or Architectural Technology here in Denmark. One brother is dentist and one is a Electronics and Communication Engineer. My youngest sister finished Chemical Engineering, and another sister finished International Relations studies.

It was the dream of my parent for us to finish our education so we will have a better chance to have a good future.

But there’s an anti climax to our story. After several years of working in the Philippines, we still could not see a better future for all of us, we followed  our parents footsteps and are now joining the millions of global Filipinos trying to find a better future, which our own country unfortunately cannot provide us.

My family are composed of global migrants of 2  generations both on my father and mother’s side, families with one or both parents working abroad and children living here in Denmark, my parents are in Spain, my sister and myself here in Denmark. Others cousins and relatives are in the USA and one is a seaman. Some cousins also works in Dubai and other parts of the Middle East.  We vowed once not to follow our parent’s footsteps because we don’t want our children to undergo what we have been through. Although we can alway join our parents in Spain but maybe it’s our destiny to find our happiness here  in Denmark and we are grateful to our Aunt Elvira and her family for inviting us here where we met our husband and lives a better life than living in the Philippines.  Spain is much closer and cheaper and we’re hoping to to spend our first Christmas together this year with our complete family, it will be the first since 1981.

Did my parents dream turn into nothing because we are working and living abroad after earning our academic degrees in the Philippines? No I don’t think so, It is not our fault that the economy of the Philippines is in disarray and that it can not keep its highly educated citizens home. But we will always be thankful to the sacrifices of our parents because having education is the best thing they can give us because it will never vanish and someday it will help us to find the right jobs here in Europe.

Even in the absence of the Light of the Home, we still functioned as a family because of the sacrifice my parents did just for the sake of a better future for their children. They became our guiding light to stay away from all kinds of temptations and we became responsible adults. It’s the love for the family that drives many Filipinos to leave and work abroad.

Our First Family Picture taken in 2001

This is our first and only family picture in 2001 meaning that finally we are complete as family plus the my sister in law and my niece.

Note:  This article was first published in ABAKADA,”Ang Balitang Kababaihan sa Denmark”, (The Filipina news in Denmark) in the Summer 2008 issue which theme is about Filipino Women’s on global migration. You can read other articles in that issue at www.babaylan.dk.

I posted this article because we will joining my parents in Spain are for the first time in 27 years we will spend the Christmas together as a family. It will be the realization of our dream and prayers for the past 27 years to be together during christmas but now that that we have our own families it will be more exciting and memorable for all of us.

That is for me the meaning of christmas to be with your family like the family in Bethlehem Our Lord Jesus together with His Parents and that will be the greatest gift that we will never forget.

How about you are you going to spend your christmas with your family?

my wallet

Sometime you can not believe that honesty still lies in the heart of many people especially among the danish people. Today I lost my wallet in a small shopping center I was about to pay for my cafe latte when I discovered that it was lost. I went back right away to the bakery inside a supermarket where i just bought a cake but it wasn’t there. Then my husband called me that the guards found my wallet who was actually calling me but I wasn’t able to answer it because it was on a silent mode. So I called the guard right away then he asked me to pick it up then he joked if I you missed something I said yes and he gave my wallet back.

This is actually my third time that I lost and found my wallet. The first time was at the National Museum and I was on my way to a restaurant when somebody called my mobile phone and it was the receptionist in the museum asking me to go back because somebody surrendered my wallet to him. I went to pick it up no question asked. I told myself I was lucky and it happened again but I forgot where it was but they called me again asking me to pick up. ( My phone was luckily on the list that’s why they were able to call me.)

Once I forgot to removed my 18 carat gold necklace and a big pendant inside my pants pocket (i put in my pocket after I took it off after I underwent a canning in the hospital) . I lost it when i washed my clothes and I didn’t even know about it until i have to wash 14 after days I found the pendant hanging in the bulletin board and I said it look like it’s mine then I took it and the necklace probably end up inside the washing machine.

When I was still new in Denmark i forgot 4oo dkk in Aldi a supermarket and the the funny thing is I discovered it 3 days after I left it wondering where is my money then I called my husband to pass by the supermarket and ask them If somebody just forgot 4 of 100 dkk folded and was still new. You will be surprised what their answer was” Oh we were very worried that she forgot it but we don’t know where you live” and give back the money to my husband. I thought it was a miracle.

I read somewhere that the Norwegians and the Danish have the highest percentage of Moral ground I think they meant was most honest people in the world by topping the people who return the wallets that’s been dropped (dropping wallets test). I can also remember a program on the danish TV testing people’s honesty by an actor who withdraw cash from an ATM machine and left it there and what will be the next person do report it to the bank or just keep the money. Most of them reported to the bank but two young ones tried to keep the money for themselves until the actor approached them.

By sharing my experiences to the others i found out and all of us conclude you the danish are very honest compared to the other nationalities especially th older people. Coming from populated and a developing country this is a bit odd and at the same time a breath of fresh air or should I say trusting the human species again when living in this country.

I even heard some people that they lost wallets but were returned thru mail sometimes with or without the cash in it. One of my friend has to pay the stamp because they sent it without putting stamps in it which it fine I think.

The danish people hates to do through any control i just to site some examples:

• There are no turnstile in the train or the Metro stations you just ride the train .
• Just show the driver you bus card or ticket with a machine stamp that most of the times they don’t really look.
• There’s no deposit counter in the department stores and supermarkets you can actually put your other bads or plastic bags you bought from the other store inside a new store.
• You don’t have to fall in line while entering a mall or store (that’s for security reasons in the Philippines)
• You don’t have to be check your belongings when going out for a mall or department store if you stole something.

BUT keep in mind if you cheat by not having the proper tickets in the bus and train (Note that here in Copenhagen area the fare depends on the zone minimum 2 zones and you can use the ticket in the Bus, Metro, the train and the ferry) when there is a control/inspector the fine is 600 Dkk (approx. 100 US$). That’s almost 2 months worth of 2 zones bus card.

But don’t be too relax you should be careful with your things because even if there’s a lot honest Danes there still some who aren’t and especially now Christmas shoppings in full blast there’s a lot of thieves in the malls, bus and in the walking street both local thieves but most of them according to the police are Tourist Thieves from the poor countries in Eastern Europe like the Romanians etc.

You can also experience honest people in the Philippines but it is very seldom isn’t because it is a poor country in relations to Denmark or is depend upon the individual’s values.

As a parent it will be our responsibility to teach or instill value formation to our children while they are still young. All the good characters and moral values like integrity , honesty etc. which they will take or practice until they become responsible adults.

Remember the saying Honesty is the Best Policy.

How about you did you happen to meet some honest people?

Have you bought all your Christmas gifts and have you not gonna wrap it. Wait.  I was stumbling the other night I find out about this fun and creative Japanese style gift wrapping system called Furoshiki.  If you read my profile or my very first post you will know that I’m concerned about our environment.

Every Christmas we are using tons and tons of gift wrappers and worst is that when you are using metallic wrappers we are contributing to global climate change.  Some Filipinas like my aunt usually keep nice wrappers, ribbons and other thing for re use but what if we follow this tip and other tips from www.recyclenow.com we may be feeling less guilty of the effects of waste in our environment.

You can use any fabric just watch the video or follow the instruction.

Furoshiki gift wrapping from RecycleNow on Vimeo

December month in Denmark is not only about Christmas but also the time of Christmas Calender or the Advent calendar.

• The Tv stations (DR & TV2) usually make a special advent calendar tv series starting from the 1st of December to the 24th. Denmark’s Radio started to air Stories from around The World in 1962 then every year after that came the follow up advent calendars, then TV2 joined in 1990 with the “Christmas in the Old Wheel”. I also watched some of the old ones like Goblin’s Gang in Greenland, Krummernes Jul (I don’t know how to translate this one, it is actually a family name Krummer but it has double meaning), Jesus and Josefine, Christmas in Veterbro and others. It was entertaining but I think it’s hard for the foreigners to understand because you have to understand a little bit of the danish culture and humor. We also have this in the Philippine although I can not remember any particular one but it is the same 24 days airing but usually it’s very emotional roller coaster you know Filipinos are very emotional.

In DR1 there is an ongoing series called the Nisernes Ø or The Goblins Island and showing at 17:30 everyday but in case you are in Denmark and you missed it you can watched by clicking the picture. Although it’s in danish but you can have a peek what its all about.

• I’m feeling a little bit guilty since we haven’t made any Packed Advent calender to my son yet which is another tradition here in Denmark.I think l my son is too young to understand, that he has to open only one at a time but knowing him I know it will be a struggle everyday to keep him from opening all the gifts in just one day if ever we made one. My sister on the other hand had started this tradition since last year (my nephew is the same age as my son) because it’s her mother in law’s tradition the opposite of my husband’s family who are untraditional and that’s also includes me. My husband and I agreed that we will start when he is 3 years old that’s next year but I think tomorrow I will just to buy a chocolate advent calendar for warm up next year and I will see how he will react to it.

Basically a packed advent calendar is 24 pieces of wrapped gifts with 1-24 numbers in it and it’s just a small things in it usually cost 10 -20dkk but if you don’t have time like me there’s a lot of ready made in the supermarkets but it’s made of chocolates or candies.

Here’s a peek of creative way to packed advent calendars (Sorry I forgot the Source of these pictures but it either form Picasa or Photobucket, if you’re the owner of this pictures please consider it as a Christmas gift to me )

In the Philippines we have a our own version of gift giving or kris kringle, remember Monita/ Monito. This is done among group of friends, school mates and officemates. I remember doing it in school and in my workplace before. The mechanic is so simple for example in an office all participants will to have write their name in a piece of paper and put in a box then draw it whoever you picked up will be your monita if it is a girl or monito if it is a boy. I can remember it usually starts on the 16th coinciding the start of the midnight mass but it’s up to the group how long it will be. Then you have to give small gifts to your monito/monita everyday and it has to something the group had agreed upon and sometimes it sounds like this;

1. First day: Something soft

2. 2nd Day: Something Long and Hard

3. 3rd Day: Something Round

4. 4th Day: Something Sticky

5: 5th Day: Something Wet

and so on

That’s the funny part of it because you have o be creative it doesn’t have to be expensive and sometimes it’s irritating what you get. You should not reveal the name of the Giver or the (godmother or godfather) until the Revelation Day, the Christmas Party that’s when you’re doing to give the big gift. Once I received not so funny gifts in the beginning but in the end I got the biggest gift because it turned out that it was my boss who was my godmother (who got my name).

Most of the Christmas traditions are the same in many countries but with a little variations but I would definitely say that the Filipinos are more creative or should I say spicy in terms of traditions there’s no dull moment. We are very sociable and always full of laughter that some misunderstand it but we are happy people in spite of crisis we still able to laugh.

Exchanging gifts or gift giving is another spirit of Christmas and we have to remember that in this time of financial crisis we have to be sensible in choosing what to give and also what to wish this Christmas. For me what matters most is the time you spent with your loved ones and not the material things.

How about you do you also exchange gifts on Christmas eve?

December for me is the most stressful month of the year both here in Denmark and the Philippines. But To counter act the stress I will start to post mostly about christmas traditions or what ever connected to Christmas or Yuletide (jul in danish).

In the Philippines Christmas is the most important of all holidays it is the time we spend time with our family. December is the nicest time to visit the Philippines because of the cooler climate, the wonderful decorations especially the Christmas lanterns. But at this is also the most expensive time to travel because it is the peak season just imagine millions of Filipinos rushing to do home to the Philippines to be with their families. They say it is the longest Christmas in the world since it starts when the month of “ber”.

The Nativity- The first Christmas

This picture was taken at the St. Anne’s Church. In Filipino we call it Belen or the Nativity.

But for many Filipino’s christmas means family. For millions of OFW (Overseas Filipino Workers) families like myself this was always means sadness since it means spending the Noche Buena (midnight dinner) without the rest of our family. It was my mother first then Father then may sister and for a long time it’s only me and my 3 siblings who celebrated christmas for along time I think more than a decade. Most of the time we spent Christmas at our relatives but I remember that it’s was always reminding us that we are like outsider because our parents we’re not there.

Well so much for the sad memories. I look forward to this Christmas because after 25 years we will spent the Christmas as a family. Me and my family together with my youngest sister’s family will visit my parents, brothers and sister this Christmas although it is only a week long vacation surely it will mean a lot to us. It will realization of our dreams which can be traced back all the words of hopes and dreams to spend the Christmas together in the Christmas cards exchanges in the last 2 1/2 decades.

It is also a tradition here in Denmark to spend the christmas with the families during Christmas. They also go to the mass and eat their dinner just earlier than us usually around 7 pm and they also gather around the Christmas tree to exchange gifts.

Exchanging gifts is not the main center point of Christmas celebration in the Philippines but being with your family. First hear the Christmas mass in the church and wearing your finest clothes, kissing the hands of your parents or elders well, ok the modern way now is just kissing the checks or “beso beso” sharing whatever the family can afford to put on the table but the important thing is family togetherness depicting the Nativity, The first Christmas. And I think that’s what’s the spirit of Christmas is all about.

How about you? Do you spend Christmas with your family?

I’ve been really bothered when you hear about the sad plight of Au pairs here in Denmark I always thought that it’s sole Filipina problem but I found out that there’s also a handful of male filipino au pair and I contacted this former au pair here in Denmark his name Almay Aguirre. He had been carrying her bad experience for a long time but by telling his story in his blog it lightens his heavy heart now he is with me in au pair awareness advocacy. Please read his story and tell me what you think.

Almay Aguirre, The Filipino Au pair

Let me tell you a story about me being an Au pair in Denmark, In the Philippines before I have applied as Au pair, I was told by a close friend of mine that if I was interested to work in Denmark, she was able not mention what type of work it was and at that moment I was not so knowledgeable of what type of work I was dealing with, with me at that time hearing even just a word “abroad” is just too far from a dream come true because thousands and thousands of Filipino graduates are striving hard and to find employment locally and abroad. As I have heard from my friend telling me if I was interested working abroad, my mind was just instantly blown away and I have not wasted a seconds to reply “yes” I am very interested. After that I had started asking her what to do, what are the thing needed for me to qualify, I also told her “in a joking way” that I am very willing to sell anything or even my “underwear” if I had too hehe! just for me to go abroad, you should know the facts that even if you grow old working in a supermarket or any Shopping Mall in the Philippines the salary of an Au pair in Denmark or was it called “Allowance” at 2500 dkk.

according to http://www.xe.com/ucc/convert.cgi:

is much bigger than a salary of a company ranked Manager, well it depends actually which company manager, if the company is just a local and newly established company then it is little a higher but if it is an international based company then it’s a little close on some of the companies in the Philippines. so then this good friend of mine has financed me everything from the start from gathering requirements expenses, visa fees, travel expenses and up to the time that she was also the one who bought me my ticket from Manila to Denmark. the only problem with the situation is that it cost me and her so much for I was not expecting it would reach up to a hundred thousand pesos and more of a total expenses. anyway I was under an informal Au pair agency where she has also undergone before. let me tell you in a simple mathematical ways:

Applying as Au pair from the Philippines depends on your logic, inside contacts and strategy:

Travel Expenses: (from your local province or city up to Departing the country)

1. Plane Ticket from your local province before passing an application
2. Lodging Allowance: (if you don’t have any relatives living near the Embassy or Consulate)
3. Embassy Fee: (According to embassy)
4. Plane Ticket returning to your local province after passing an application
5. Plane Ticket for having a visa stamp on your passport
6. Here comes the Plane ticket expenses
7. Not to mention Fees for Exiting the country hahaha!
8. before I forgot the Fees for the one who finds your host family or employer (very unlawful but some people has no choice)

Please take note: that it is very unlawful that someone will ask for a payment for finding your host family but in reality it really happens, It is like a commission for them that their reason is they are the one who finds your host family and some people says that it is their responsibility of finding another one who will be replacing you after your contract has ended, well let me tell you that you can report them to the police for it is very unlawful for us, never let it happen to you or to anyone, some people sell their properties and some sell all of their live stock just for them to afford to pay in going abroad but scammers are so nasty and please be aware always, and last thing you have to wait for your approval from the Danish Immigration in Denmark maybe mostly for 1-2 months if your lucky.

Source: http://www.norway.ph/visa+announcement/new+visa+fee+010208.htm

After I had arrived in Denmark I was not aware that I will be staying out of my host family (another expenses) and paying for my own food (another expenses), I arrive January 17, 2007 and I lasted for ten months with my first family that means that I have been paying my own food for ten (10) months which is unlawful, paying my apartment which is another very unlawful for me, there was no problem with my first family actually but the problem is they have no spare room for their Au pair, they were giving 210 dkk for a bus card and that’s it. well my friend has given me some extra for my spare time in the morning that had helped me in my daily expenses but it was not enough and that extra (Black Money) I was talking about was unlawful and could get you in big trouble and be deported if caught by the local police automatically. I had to change three (3) apartments in just a ten (10) months for the reason I was looking for a place where it’s cheaper, The first apartment had cost me 1200 dkk monthly that lasted only for three (3) months, my second apartment had cost me 1600 dkk monthly and the last apartment of mine had cost me 2000 dkk (this one is a whole house I have rented for they are friends of my first host family) but then after all things that had happen I have realise that I was working had but all of my earnings are not for me but all had come to my expenses. even my salary I had to pay it for my rent, boy! I can tell you how sorry I was for me having a situation like that, and I was always saying to my self I was supposed to be in abroad to uplift myself but lucky me I was in pain hard work and misery, so then a few months later I decided to find a new host family and talked to my first host family about the situation that there was no problem having them as my host family but the problem is of me living out of the family paying my own rent and food which is supposed to be their responsibility. I have waisted no time and transferred as soon as possible to m new host family and I was happy having my own room and privacy, no more apartment fees, food allowance from your sweat and no more “Black Money“. I have just ended my contract last 26 of October 2008 and went home to my homeland Philippines.

Quick Tips:

For Au pairs, please if you have any problem regarding any situation either financially or personal with your host families talk to them politely about the problem, if they listen to you and understand you they will make a solution for the problem but if they will just do nothing and your salary is always delayed and etc…, waste no time find a new one which you feel comfortable to live with. If I could help about anything, please send me a mail via my email:

almayaguirre@gmail.com

or leave a comments to this post.

For Families, Please do not delay the salary of your Au pairs for they have a family depending on them either they are the one who pays for the tuition of their sibling’s or the bread winner of the family. please be aware that your Au pairs are not the “murmuring type” for if we don’t like the way you treat us, we just stay quiet and find a new host family signed a contract before we tell you about the problem, of course we analyze first the situation for there are so many different types of problems faced by the Au pair and the families they are living with.

Au pairs always be informed, don’t be scammed, don’t pay for anyone who you think is not authorized for finding you a host family.

Well all for now and GOD Bless you all always,

Brew

Do you have any au pair stories to share here or in his blog happy or sad stories are welcome.

Cathy, The filipina au pair

This is Catherine when she was in Holland, her picture reflects sweetness and contentment of her experience with her host family in Holland. But she asked me not to published her present picture because she lost weight because she don’t want her family to worry when they see her now.

Catherine story is one of the many Filipina sad stories about the bad aupair situation in Denmark. I met her last Saturday sobbing while telling me her sad flight, her sad experiences with mind you 2 danish families.

The 1st danish host family

Catherine came to Denmark almost 5 months ago hoping to broaden her cultural horizons since she already worked as an aupair in Holland for 1 year she want to extent her stay in Europe. Nearing the end of her contract in Holland she tried to find possible au pair job in Denmark and she made contact to a family in Hellerup and they hired her as their au pair or offer (that’s danish for victim).

She received 2,500 dkk monthly in allowance thats the minimum allowance set up by the state but she worked more than the allowed maximum of 30 days per week. She was asked to baby sit for many hours sometimes 10 hours per week and she tried to talked to them and they said that they will see until she noticed she was already five months. It is not only long working hours but it’s more of how they treated her badly like she was not a part of the family but a house help. For along time she can not sleep and lost so much weight and she cannot take it anymore then one day while she was crying in the train station wondering what kind of hell she end up with. Another au pair approached her and gave her a telephone number of a family who is looking for an au pair. When she informed her host that she will transfer to a new family they immediately asked her to leave and sign a paper that she is transferring to this and that but it also written there without her knowledge (it was in danish) that her service as their au pair were paid but actually they owed her at least more than half a months salary but they told her that they will send it to her new address. They gå væk translated go out go out while laughing and shouted you will work your head and ass anywhere. Well maybe she’s witch because it became true. Just read on.

The 2nd danish host family

She then contacted that family in Holte where they promised her 3000 DKK allowance and a bus ticket to the city in her free time but it turned out that this 2nd family was worse than the first one. She starts to work 7.15 prepare breakfast and pack lunch, feed the kids, prepare the clothes and bathe and clothe them. She has to clean the house pick up the kids in Hellerup, do the laundry, help with the assignment, cook dinner, feed kids, prepare clothes for the next day etc. until around 8 pm. Wow that’s more than 10 hours everyday. For few days she don’t even have any break for meal just drank some tea that’s all. So when she received her schedule she reminded the lady of the house that she should only work max. 5 hours and also give her some breaks according to the contract they both signed but the dot the answer “You should see a doctor,I think you are depressed”, who will be depressed with that schedule just take a look below.

Cathy's Schedule