The Filipina Mom in Denmark

It’s been bothering me for sometime this question because today we had a meeting with my sons pedagogue because of his persistent biting that’s been going on for almost a month now. He has one favorite victim, his 6 months younger cousin. Everyday the poor guy receives at least 3 bite-marks luckily he’s already vaccinated with anti tetanus.

Here’s some probable causes why he bites and why especially his cousin who happens to be our neighbor.

1. Communication – he cannot yet speak so instead he bites when they mean this is my toy do not play with it, leave me alone, a want that toy, I not glad today and so many things. Sometimes it will even mean the other way around that he’s so glad so bites.

2. Attention seeking – wants to get attention. After biting there’s always crying and suddenly an adult will come to break him away from his victim then his a star.

3. Frustrations – because he not yet express want he wanted which is understandably frustrating. Do you get what I mean.

4. Territorial – He started to a little bit too early in the day care actually he was the first baby they received so he’s kinda spoiled not just he’s their baby but he’s also sweet and charming. It was his nursery before but now he has to share the place and the adult attention to others but most especially to his loving cousin. There’s always new one coming in his day care where he started because they will only stay there for a maximum 2 Years and 1o months.

5. Language – He’s maybe confused to be in a multi language home like us. My husband and I speak Danglish (danish english) even the programmes we’re watching in the tv are in english. I tried to speak to him in Filipino language so my parents will understand him and my sister speaks also panggasinan dialect.

6. Jealousy – we think he so jealous of his little cousin well, who suddenly stole the light from him. The cousin became bigger and more and stronger than he actually so many he’s intimadated. His cousin also used to hit him with almost anything so maybe he’s irritated by this by the way my son is only 21 months old and his cousin is only 16 months old.

Those were the very obvious reasons why he bites because we don’t fight or shout at home and he’s very sweet and I did not have any problems with him ever since. But he needs to learn to learn to play with other kids.

He’s not not the only one who bites they said it’s very normal for toddler to go to this phase. But as a parent it’s frustrating when you always see he’s doing it over and over again. Or you meet one parent saying their daughter has my sons perfect teeth impression. Although they understand it makes me so sad.
The purpose of our meeting is not suspension I hope i will not go through this in the future is how we can help each other to guide him to more social and make him realize that he had some limitations that his not acceptable. That they are doing all what they are trained for in child behavior that we need to be in consistent at home so he will not be confused.

What should we do?

1. First when biting happens we should take him away and say No stop this it’s hurt and console the bitten one then show the bitemark and say aww aww it hurts do not do it again but try to refocus him in other thing or toy but if he’s still in the biting mode which sometimes hard to predict because sometimes it’s totally unprovocated I’m taking about his favorite cousin. Put him away in a chair or I do sometimes to just put his to his crib to cool off.

2. I realized before our meeting that maybe I should only talked to him in danish only because he’s beginning to talk and always asking question “what is that? ” almost every minute and I am really amazed how fast he learns new words every time and I can hear that he’s really focus on widening his vocabulary.

3. Try to be more involve like playing some activity games and can even invite his cousin and learn him that he has share and fun to play with someone.

4. Be quick to anticipate when he’s going to strike because you can not isolate him so he has be with others.

5. Try to teach him to show empathy or compassion to other for example show him when someone is crying that they are sad say instead shh don’t cry. I sometime ask him me with putting his lego in its box because I am tired of picking up after him and even acting like my back is aching come help me Aww my back help me then he helps me or helping putting the milk in cooler and so on ..

6. Don’t try to scold him when he bites just plain no and not raised or excited voice just normal but firm No. They say try to act right away but when it’s over don not try to remind him that what he’s bad or he did was wrong. In short don’t make a big thing out it so he will not feel that he affecting everybody. Try to be relax and calm.

7. Praise him when he do some good things. or proper things.

So I hope that he will soon get over this biting phase. I’m very thankful for the personnel who’s taking this matter very professional usually parents thinks of many things like me for example questions like where did I go wrong and my mother after having 5 childrens said maybe it his fathers genes which of course he’s from other end of the planet.

Hi this is my very first posting on this blog and I stumble on a movement called Blog Action Day which is today where the focus is about the environment that’s give a good idea to talk about.

As a new mom, 5 year housewife, a student who lives in Copenhagen I will write some things that might be environmentally friendly tips . It is surprising to note that simple things in our daily life contributes a lot to the preservation of our environment. As a parent I feel it’s our duty to be environmentally conscious just think of our children’s future. I want my son to see and live not just reading in a book or some archives in a internet site about animals, beautiful nature what was left of our natural environment.

Filipinamom’s Simple Guide to help save our environment

1. Bring you own shopping bag- When going to to the supermarkets bring your reusable bags and don’t buy plastic bags. Plastic shopping bags is not free in Denmark it will cost you around 2.5 to 3.5 danish kroner approximately 0.5 US$ . But most people don’t care they just buy because it’s nothing but they forget that why the state put a very high tax on these plastic bags so that it will reduce the environmental destructions by lesser productions means lesser garbage. One very good example is my husband he said that he can use it later as a garbage bag but what very expensive garbage bag. Once I counted some of the plastic bags he kept in one of the kitchen drawers it was 150 pcs. just by 2 kr it will be around 50 US$ and that was only less than 2 months collections. Today I always put 1 or 2 bags in his cycling bag so he can use next time he shop (he does the shopping).

2. Take the Public Transport, form a car pool or much better cycle to work. I know this will not apply to most places but in Denmark where they have at least a reliable and good public transportation system yet cycling is still popular it is one of the very few cycling capitals in the world.

3. Throw the garbage in the right container. In Copenhagen where I live all housing complex are required to have separate containers for papers, cartons, ordinary garbage, bottles and batteries. The dangerous materials like paints and other chemical should be thrown out in special containers and same as the electronic and used furnitures where they have to be collected separately or throw them at a designated areas.

4. Ask friends or relatives for used baby clothes and accessories – I was lucky to surrounded by friends who gave us used baby things like baby carriage, strollers, baby books, crib, clothes, cloth diapers (yes it’s still very widely used here in Denmark but just different purposes than it’s named suggests.), shoes (they advises not to use other’s shoes but I think it will not hurt if it is for 1-2 years where they don’t walk that much), toys and etc. Just limit yourself to buy things that the baby really needs or just a few nice clothes. I know it’s hard I myself is guilty because I buy some clothes and shoes but later regret it because they grow so fast.

5. Don’t use wet napkins. It was a very good advise form my nurse because most of the wet napkins(wet ones) whatever they claim that is allergy friendly they still put some chemicals that will not be good for baby’s sensitive skin. I’m using a disposable rubber napkin and the old fashion soap and water when I’m changing diaper and a small towel (washable) to clean his face and body. My sister use to cut these rubber napkins in two so it will be cheaper. One good tip is to wet with a little soap some of the rubber napkins (disposable napkins and put it in a napkin and your ready to go .

6. Use an old fashion Baby cloth diaper – Like i said this is a very wonderful accessory it is very seldom used as a diaper in this age. I used for wiping baby mouth and butt (separate cloth of course), sunscreen (I tied it around the baby carriage to protect the baby form uv ray and wind especially when they are sleeping, baby’s bib, one of my mother group used to put the pacifier in it so it will not lost or to balance it i guess and there still a lot.

7. Turn off the electronic appliances on stand by mode- even if they are in stand by they still use electricity.7

8. Don’t buy books borrow them- If you can wait it’s better to borrow books in the library where you can borrow for minimum of 1 month and maximum of 3 months or borrow from friends. Since I live in Denmark I buy products which has the Swan ecolabel mark (this a nordic or scandivanian eco labeling ) and the Flower (european eco labeling). to be

9. Don’t subscribe to a lot of magazines or newspapers - I subscribe to a magazine for new parents but I found out later that there’s a lot of resources in the net about parenting topics, borrow books in the library or ask some friends if they have some magazines and books.

10. Cook your own food- By cooking your own food and the baby’s, it’s both cost saving and healthy and you also help conserve the environment just imagine the all plastic or the pizza carton or the bottles.

11. Buy those products that doesn’t pollutes- When I became a parent I try to read labels of the things I’m buying if they using suspected chemicals that will provoke allergies like perfume etc., in Denmark there 2 standards eco label that is the Swan (Nordic or Scandinavian) and the the Flower (EU eco label) so I’m sure that I’m buying a product which doesn’t hurt the environment.

12. Don’t use fabric softener- these products has more chemicals to damage the environment and to add it has allergy provoking chemicals even if they claim that is for sensitive. If you cant help use this use it moderately. I know a lot of Filipinos who loves use more than what is specified because it will smells good. This also applies to dish washing liquids us ethe right amount usually 5 ml to 5 liters of water is enough.

13. Don’t use shampoo and bath gel- 2 in 1 shampoo and bath usually marketed for the babies but these will harm the environment. A baby from birth doesn’t really need soap and shampoo because they still the in born fats which was away if use soap which will results to dry skin then later will become child eczema.

14. Breastfeed – It’s healthy and cheap and instant. Just imagine the tins or cartoon packaging you have to throw when you buy mother’s milk replacement.

15. Don’t use air freshener- It’s very expensive, bad for our health and pollute the environment.

16. Don’t use plastic in heating foods in the microwave- use ceramics or glass.

17. Don’t buy soft drinks bottles or cans without deposits. We have a return bottle or soft drink cans system in Denmark where you return them in a machine in a supermarket and claim your deposit back so you don’t need to throw bottles or cans out. When I arrive in 2002 there are still no soft drinks in cans most are in glass bottles or plastics but after the tins arrived you can see the thrash everywhere too bad.

OK folks that’s all I can thinks of now. I need to do my home work. Almost all I mentioned above is my own and based on the pamphlets and information from the health department i got when I was pregnant which I found out to be very useful.

This is a very good topic I wish the organizer will set another date for this issue so I can thinks of other things. I’m studying to a constructing architect so I guess now we focus more on sustainable products to us in the building we’re designing so in a way I can also contribute when I finish my studies.
1. Bring you own shopping bag- When going to to the supermarkets bring your reusable bags and don’t buy plastic bags. Plastic shopping bags is not free in Denmark it will cost you around 2.5 to 3.5 danish kroner approximately 0.5 US$ . But most people don’t care they just buy because it’s nothing but they forget that why the state put a very high tax on these plastic bags so that it will reduce the environmental destructions by lesser productions means lesser garbage. One very good example is husband he said that he can use it later as a garbage bag but what very expensive garbage bag. Once I counted some of the plastic bags he kept in one of the kitchen drawers it was 150 pcs. just by 2 kr it will be around 50 US$ and that was only less than 2 months collections. Today I always put 1 or 2 bags in his cycling bag so he can use next time he shop (he does the shopping).

2. Take the Public Transport, form a car pool or much better cycle to work. I know this will not apply to most places but in Denmark where they have at least a reliable and good public transportation system and it is one of the very few cycling capitals in the world.

3. Throw the garbage in the right container. In Copenhagen where I live all housing complex where required to have separate containers for papers, cartons, ordinary garbage, bottles and batteries. The dangerous materilas like paints and other chemical should be thrown out in special containers and same as the electronic and used furnitures where they have to be collected separately or them at a designated areas.

4. Ask friends or relatives for used baby clothes and accessories – I was lucky to surrounded by friends who gave us used baby things like baby carriage, strollers, baby books, crib, clothes, cloth diapers (yes it’s still very widely used here in Denmark but just different purposes than it’s named suggests.), shoes (they advises not to use other’s shoes but I think it will not hurt if it is for 1-2 years where they don’t walk that much), toys and etc. Just limit yourself to buy things that the baby really needs or just a few nice clothes. I know it’s hard I myself is guilty because I buy some clothes and shoes but later regret it because they grow so fast.

5. Don’t use wet napkins. It was a very good advise form my nurse because most of the wet napkins(wet ones) whatever they claim that is allergy friendly they still put some chemicals that will not be good for baby’s sensitive skin. I’m using a disposable rubber napkin and the old fashion soap and water when I’m changing diaper and a small towel (washable) to clean his face and body. My sister use to cut these rubber napkins in two so it will be cheaper. One good tip is to wet with a little soap some of the rubber napkins (disposable napkins and put it in a napkin and your ready to go .

6. Use an old fashion Baby cloth diaper – Like i said this is a very wonderful accessory it is very seldom used as a diaper in this age. I used for wiping baby mouth and butt (separate cloth of course), sunscreen (I tied it around the baby carriage to protect the baby form uv ray and wind especially when they are sleeping, baby’s bib, one of my mother group used to put the pacifier in it so it will not lost or to balance it i guess and there still a lot.

7. Turn off the electronic appliances on stand by mode- even if they are in stand by they still use electricity.7

8. Don’t buy books borrow them- If you can wait it’s better to borrow books in the library where you can borrow for minimum of 1 month or borrow from friends. Since I live in Denmark I buy products wich has the Swan ecolabel mark (this a nordic or scandivanian eco labeling ) and the Flower (european eco labeling). to be

9. Don’t subscribe a lot of magazines and newspaper- I subscribe to a magazine for new parents but I found out later that there’s a lot of resources in the net about parenting topics, borrow books in the library or ask some friends if they have some magazines and books.

10. Cook your own food- By cooking your own food and the baby’s, it’s both cost saving and healthy and you also help conserve the environment just imagine the all plastic or the pizza carton.

11. Buy those products that doesn’t pollutes- When I became a parent I try to read labels of the things I’m buying if they using suspected chemicals that will provoke allergies like perfume etc., in Denmark there 2 standards eco label that is the Swan (Nordic or Scandinavian) and the the Flower (EU eco label) so I’m sure that I’m buying a product which doesn’t hurt the environment.

12. Don’t use fabric softener- these products has more chemicals to damage the environment and to add it has allergy provoking chemicals even if they claim that is for sensitive. If you cant help use this use it moderately. I know a lot of Filipinos they always use more than what is specified because it will smell good.

13. Don’t use shampoo and bath gel- 2 in 1 shampoo and bath usually marketed for the babies but these will harm the environment. A baby form birth doesn’t really need soap and shampoo because they still the in born fats which was away if use soap which will results to dry skin then later will become child exzema.

14. Breastfeed – It’s healthy and cheap and instant. Just imagine the tins or cartoon packaging you have to throw when you buy mother’s milk replacement.

15. Don’t use air freshener- It’s very expensive, bad for our health and pollute the environment.

16. Don’t use plastic in heating foods in the microwave- use ceramics or glass.

17. Don’t buy soft drinks bottles or cans without deposits. We have a return bottle or soft drink cans system in Denmark where you return them in a machine in a supermarket and calim your deposit back so you don’t need to throw bottles or cans out. When I arrive in 2002 there are still no soft drinks in cans most are in glass bottles or plastics but after the tins arrived you can see the thrash everywhere too bad.

OK folks that’s all I can thinks of now. I need to do my home work. Almost all I mentioned above is my own and based on the pamphlets and information from the health department i got when I was pregnant which I found out to be very useful.

This is a very good topic I wish the organizer will set another date for this issue so I can thinks of other things. I’m studying to a constructing architect so I guess now we focus more on sustainable products to us in the building we’re designing so in a way I can also contribute when finish my studies.

Welcome to my blog. This blog is about my own thoughts about motherhood, parenting, my experiences of my integration to the new society while the taking pride of my Filipino culture. Living abroad taught me a lot of things and also look at things in another perspective.

Somebody ask me when I was new here what is your culture it took me awhile before I can not answer because this things we don’t think so much in the Philippines. Then I tried to remember all the things that makes a Filipino and be try to tell them about it.

It was funny though that while in the Philippines we usually looks forward to what’s new abroad but now it is the opposite. I’m quite new to blogging, ok i started some but quite apprehensive what to write about but now I consider to do it seriously.

I also fond of photography and architecture so I will try once in a while to blog about it.

Nice reading.