The Filipina Mom in Denmark

Pacifier, or “sut” in Danish is probably one of the most have for parents because it makes your baby stop crying especially in the middle of the nigh,  it gives you peace and quite for few minutes or hour. Luckily my son wasn’t that wild about it maybe just a month or two and his nursery did not encourage it either.

a baby with pacifier

The choice is up to the parents just remember so if you decide that pacifier is for remember a few things:

• wait until your baby is about month year old so she/he will not be confused with pacifier and your nipples because suckling is a baby’s reflex
• don’t let the pacifier be your baby sitter just give it when its necessary sometimes when they cry they need comfort to feel the warmth of their parents remember that they live inside the   mother ’s womb for nine months. Even though they can not talk or see you have to talk to them it soothes them to hear a familiar voice.
• When buying pacifiers choice only pacifiers without any phthalates (it is a chemical they add to soften the plastic if was suspected to be the cause of reproductive disruptions for humans and babies are susceptible I will write an article about this because most of toys, lotions contains Phthalates
• Chose pacifiers that can not obstruct the nose for me I was.
• Always see to it that is clean wash it with fresh water have seen mothers who used to clean it by putting them in their mouth and later give it back to their babies whenever it fell down. I guess our mouth is a rich source of bacteria please don’t do that. Buy a holder instead like my son on the picture.
• Change when you think the rubber is too soft it might lead to choking.

I observed that the Filipinamom’s in the Philippines doesn’t  rely  too much on pacifier like  their Danish counterparts. I think the reason is we the  Filipinamoms always want to be near our child we love to hold our babies every time they cry. That’s what my nurse /sunhedsplejersker told me that we are not afraid of touch I think that’s our nature. There is always a free set of arms to hold the babies the grandparents, aunts, friends and those privileged ones they have “yayas” or nannies to pacify the crying child. While in Denmark I observed in the day care institutions and in the streets babies even they are old enough always have something in their cute little mouth a “”. I can not give any reason but it like it’s some kind of tradition or a tool to make their lives easier.

But have you wonder what they do to wane their children from using pacifier?  It usually a big deal when the children is attached to their sut/pacifier but for me the best time is to wane them when they are between 2-3 years old when they start in the kindergarten. Watch this video from MYtvDenmark about the Pacifier tree where they hang their children’s pacifier in a tree and give a little present. In the Frederiksberg Garden there is a ceratain tree that parents go to when the time has come. It like some sort of passage for their children. The video also consist of how is the kids life in Denmark. Enjoy. You can watch more episodes visit http: //www.mydenmarktv.com/ and learn abouth life in Denmark through the eyes of foreigners.

Episode #36 – MyDenmarkTV.com from MyDenmarkTV on Vimeo.

How about you ? Do you have any tradition when the time to say stop using pacifier?

I just read in Urban a few days ago about how desperate the Chinese parents in trying to find alternative solutions in the wake of the tainted milk scandal. Some are thinking about hiring a cow or call the agency that organizes mother who are willing to breastfeed because they parents won’t dare to buy powdered milk anymore. Some mother who ares still breastfeeding can earn as much as 270 US $ per month. I have some chinese classmates that there a lot of announcement in the internet regarding this.

But it’s not only in china that one can sell mothers milk but also here in Denmark you can sell it to the hospital and they pay 176 Danish kroner or around 18 US$ per liter. Most hospitals accepts this kind arrangement because they need give to the premature babies since it has been proven that mother’s milk gives more immunity against long lists of sickness.

There was a story published in a news paper BT (Berlingske Tidende) last March 7, 2008 that there is a 53 year old woman, Sisser Weinreich, mother of 7 children who became richer by 460,000 DKK around 120,000 US$ just by selling her extra mother’s milk whenever she’s breastfeeding her children.

All in all she supplied the hospitals 3,408 liter because she was blessed with 10 times extra than normally what a mother can produce. She said that she started to sell her milk when she give birth to her second child upon the suggestion of her midwife.

The funny thing is the tax office was in doubt if the mother’smilk should be taxed because of it’s unsual quantity imagine she can produce 4.2 liter just 3 months after she gave birth. But mother’s milk is tax free so it was blessing financially for her and the premature babies.

Her 2 children continued her legacy because they inherited her extra power.

Mothers who chose to breastfeed should observe the following tips:

1. Avoid alcohol because the baby also will be affected since it goes with the milk.
2. Find a good position that is both convenient for both mother and baby.

3. Invest in a nursing pillow it can help you to find the right position and it will be a great relief not to hold your 5-6 kg baby for a long time. You can sit and relax your muscle and avoid back and neck pain. The baby can use it too.

4. Remember to let your baby finish one breast before changing to the next one. It is because the first flow is to quench the thirst so it is low fat but the last is the rich in protein which is what the baby needs. It will also helps you against breast infections because when it’s full of milk it blocks the milk ducts then comes sore and later on fever.

5. Eat healthy food and drink a lot of milk ( I tried drinking a lot but my son stomach became bad so I need to drink something to nutralize mine and my son’s stomach , potato juice was a great help

6. Rest a good night sleep is also important well sometimes we can’t so we need our partner/husband help to alternate us when we the “milking cow” has to rest or recharge

7. Invest in a electric nursing pump if you think you more than adequate milk production and store it properly. There are some milk containers or plastic that you can buy and put it in refrigerator in 3 days and 3-4 months in the freezer. I will post a more thorough guidelines for this topic.

8. Use a nursing pads to avoid embarrassing moments when I use a woolen one it was good.

9. Avoid smoking its not good for you and the baby.

10. Don´t set no particular time to nurse when the baby is hungry . Always feed your baby on demand. This will stimulate your milk production.

11. Use a good supporting bra that will support your breast to help it form sagging.

12. When the baby is done never pull your breast to break the suction but use your little finger inside his mouth and carefully pull it.

Well that tips is according to experience although I used 2 sizes over my normal size I wasn’t able to sell my milk maybe because my son was so dependent on it until he was almost 2 years old. Until now he trying to trick me to nurse him but I waned when he turned 2.

I was lucky because it is normal and actually encourae here for mothers to nurse their baby. Actually they will not let you go home from the hospital when you are not ready or breastfeeding isn’t working or there you can ask help form your nurse about it.

So it was financially rewarding I wasnt tied to buy milk which might be contaminated (well not here in Denmark) and my son is healthy since he rarely sick but when he does he can recover almost instantly.

How about you can you sell your mothers milk also?

The scandal of contaminated milk that killed 4 babies in china makes me angry and it terrifies me seeing the news on with all those babies lying on the hospital fighting for their lives. How can they do that terrible thing to babies.

According to the news in the TV there are at least 6,000 affected and more parents still flocks the hospital to have their children checked for contamiantion. There are 1,300 babies that are still in the hospital and 168 have kidney problems. They have found traces chemical specifically of melamine which is being used in plastic kitchen utensils like cups and saucer, glues, laminates in furnitures and many things. There are some who says that they used melamine to increased the protein contain in the milk so they can passed the strict requirement.

The milk in question is Sanlu is produced by China’s biggest dairy producer but the world largest dairy producer from New Zealand, Fonterra the world’s biggest dairy trader who owns 43 % of Sanlu said in their press release that they already known about it since august. But how come that it just now that we heard about it according to the different newspaper it was due to China’s policy on covering news. I just hope the Chinese government can find the root of the problem and put to jail those who are responsible.

I don’t know but I just really disgusted with this news. I also at some point gave my son breast milk supplement although I breastfeed for at least two years because I thought that he wasn’t getting enough milk from me but I’m glad that he himself preferred breast milk.

In the Philippines most mothers use infants formula because of many claims form the producers of higher IQ, speedy growth, and many others because they put a lot of vitamins and minerals. But Just as what they always label their products that “Breastfeeding is the best for babies” which is true. But of course there’s a lot of reasons why they can breastfeed like getting back to work. But I think it’s most of it is lack of information from the health department which should give guidelines to all pregnant women and parents about child care. Because even mothers from poor sectors in the country uses infant even it so expensive formulas because of lack of guidance from health workers but it’s what they see in the commercials.

I hope that the Philippines authority will act and bans importation of suspected dairy products from china and warns the public about the dangers of this milk as other countries have done. This not only confines to powder milk but all dairy products like yogurt, cheese, butter and ice cream.It should be a wake up call for the health authorities to sit down and think about infant care and information dissemination and don’t let the big Pharmaceutical companies do it just to promote their products but rather use them to give the right information about infant or child’s health. And to the dairy producer or the big pharmaceutical companies I hope that they will be RESPONSIBLE and reminded that they are dealing with human beings not guinea pigs and not just think about big profits.

How about you what do you think about this news/scandal?

Update on my earlier post about my son’s biting habits. We met with the personnel on the day care for the second time 4 months after the first meeting because they were very worried about my son’s biting other children. He wants to play but he don’t know how to respect other children borders. They gave us a month to observe him and suggested that we seek help and find a child psychologist to help him because they think he’s socially way behind. This keeps me worried and look back what I have done wrong but according to his doctor he will outgrow it he’s totally normal he said.

One month passed we did not heard from the day care because he was sick for 3 weeks so it was forgotten or maybe he just changed his habits. He also learned to push and hit that but I think slowly he learned how to behave with other children. But still I watch him carefully whenever he’s in the playground because he might push other children when he don’t get what he wants.

Two months had passed I can see that he’s playing fine with his cousin but now it’s the other way around my son always tells me “Mother He bites me”. Now he’s on the other side he’s now getting bite marks as often from his cousin same as he given him before.

It’s the same reasons why my nephew bites because he can not express what he wants. But the problem is my sister can not speak danish so she speaks to him in Filipino and English and of course danish. Last Friday their pedagog spoke to us because they don’t know what to do with our children because my son was bitten by the cousin and they also hit each other once in a while. Note that they are in the same team or room in the day care.

Are we filipinamoms are different in upbringing our children? But some wiser parents told us that it’s normal because they are like pseudo twins and we are live right next to each other. There is sometimes jealousy and fighting to their way for our attention.n At home of course it happens sometimes but they easily forgot the episode say I’m sorry and hug each other and everything will be fine. It’s funny though that my son can say you should not bite other children, you should not hit other children, you should not push other children and so forth when his cousin did something.

The pedagog said that they going crazy with our children they even think of separating them but of course it will can’t be. I think they just have energy than most danish children. I have a classmate who studed something about genetics said that a product of two races inherit the strong character from both sides. I don’t know if that’s true but our boys are surely energetic but they also sweet as angels.

It’s been bothering me for sometime this question because today we had a meeting with my sons pedagogue because of his persistent biting that’s been going on for almost a month now. He has one favorite victim, his 6 months younger cousin. Everyday the poor guy receives at least 3 bite-marks luckily he’s already vaccinated with anti tetanus.

Here’s some probable causes why he bites and why especially his cousin who happens to be our neighbor.

1. Communication – he cannot yet speak so instead he bites when they mean this is my toy do not play with it, leave me alone, a want that toy, I not glad today and so many things. Sometimes it will even mean the other way around that he’s so glad so bites.

2. Attention seeking – wants to get attention. After biting there’s always crying and suddenly an adult will come to break him away from his victim then his a star.

3. Frustrations – because he not yet express want he wanted which is understandably frustrating. Do you get what I mean.

4. Territorial – He started to a little bit too early in the day care actually he was the first baby they received so he’s kinda spoiled not just he’s their baby but he’s also sweet and charming. It was his nursery before but now he has to share the place and the adult attention to others but most especially to his loving cousin. There’s always new one coming in his day care where he started because they will only stay there for a maximum 2 Years and 1o months.

5. Language – He’s maybe confused to be in a multi language home like us. My husband and I speak Danglish (danish english) even the programmes we’re watching in the tv are in english. I tried to speak to him in Filipino language so my parents will understand him and my sister speaks also panggasinan dialect.

6. Jealousy – we think he so jealous of his little cousin well, who suddenly stole the light from him. The cousin became bigger and more and stronger than he actually so many he’s intimadated. His cousin also used to hit him with almost anything so maybe he’s irritated by this by the way my son is only 21 months old and his cousin is only 16 months old.

Those were the very obvious reasons why he bites because we don’t fight or shout at home and he’s very sweet and I did not have any problems with him ever since. But he needs to learn to learn to play with other kids.

He’s not not the only one who bites they said it’s very normal for toddler to go to this phase. But as a parent it’s frustrating when you always see he’s doing it over and over again. Or you meet one parent saying their daughter has my sons perfect teeth impression. Although they understand it makes me so sad.
The purpose of our meeting is not suspension I hope i will not go through this in the future is how we can help each other to guide him to more social and make him realize that he had some limitations that his not acceptable. That they are doing all what they are trained for in child behavior that we need to be in consistent at home so he will not be confused.

What should we do?

1. First when biting happens we should take him away and say No stop this it’s hurt and console the bitten one then show the bitemark and say aww aww it hurts do not do it again but try to refocus him in other thing or toy but if he’s still in the biting mode which sometimes hard to predict because sometimes it’s totally unprovocated I’m taking about his favorite cousin. Put him away in a chair or I do sometimes to just put his to his crib to cool off.

2. I realized before our meeting that maybe I should only talked to him in danish only because he’s beginning to talk and always asking question “what is that? ” almost every minute and I am really amazed how fast he learns new words every time and I can hear that he’s really focus on widening his vocabulary.

3. Try to be more involve like playing some activity games and can even invite his cousin and learn him that he has share and fun to play with someone.

4. Be quick to anticipate when he’s going to strike because you can not isolate him so he has be with others.

5. Try to teach him to show empathy or compassion to other for example show him when someone is crying that they are sad say instead shh don’t cry. I sometime ask him me with putting his lego in its box because I am tired of picking up after him and even acting like my back is aching come help me Aww my back help me then he helps me or helping putting the milk in cooler and so on ..

6. Don’t try to scold him when he bites just plain no and not raised or excited voice just normal but firm No. They say try to act right away but when it’s over don not try to remind him that what he’s bad or he did was wrong. In short don’t make a big thing out it so he will not feel that he affecting everybody. Try to be relax and calm.

7. Praise him when he do some good things. or proper things.

So I hope that he will soon get over this biting phase. I’m very thankful for the personnel who’s taking this matter very professional usually parents thinks of many things like me for example questions like where did I go wrong and my mother after having 5 childrens said maybe it his fathers genes which of course he’s from other end of the planet.